A few years ago some crazy religious fanatics crashed planes into buildings. The authorities were quick to step in and step up security in airports. Unluckily for us the authorities at the time happened to lead by this guy:
So what we’ve gotten is a big mess of silly little rules and a mass of power-happy security screeners who can ruin your vacation with the flimsiest pretext. It’s not all bad, the shoe removal part makes us all a bit more humble and security theater makes most people feel safer. But now it’s time to celebrate the stupidest reasons to ban people from planes.
#1 – 3.2 Ounces of Toothpaste. This one has probably gotten a few of us in trouble, ever since government scientists discovered the formula: “> 3oz. toothpaste = bomb lol”. It even happened to everyone’s favorite geek Wil Wheaton in 2006.
…my deadly, deadly toothpaste was taken away from me, because it was “way bigger” than the three ounces our government protectors arbitrarily-designated as safe. (For those of you scoring at home, “way bigger” is .2 ounces) I didn’t mention that my relatively expensive (to its size) Crew hair goop was also taken away from me, because it was 3.4 ounces, even when I opened it up and showed them that it was less than 1/2 full, and therefore well under the deadly 3 ounce threshold.
“Well, we don’t know what’s really in there,” the TSA lady said.
“It’s about1 ounce of hair goop,” I said. “Would you like me to put it in my hair?”
They’re lucky he didn’t reroute their main power through the deflector dish and reverse the magnetic couplers. Damn it! I really thought I could make it through a post involving Wil Wheaton without making a Star Trek joke.