Unsought Input

Earlier we wrote about all the great job salary and pay data you can get at indeed.com. I noticed the cool web2.0 widget features they have so I thought I would add to the list, now with exciting graphs!

Where does he get those wonderful toys?

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I did a search to see how much Batman makes in Gotham City. It’s a good thing he’s got a trust fund, because $38K hardly puts spinners on the Batmobile and grills on the Boy Wonder.

Obviously waiting for his performance bonus

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I looked to see what the President makes in Washington, DC. Really this job is about the perks. Bush made much more money running oil companies into the ground and running baseball teams away from the pennant. But could he ignore the Geneva Conventions or invade a county for no particular reason? Nope.

But the cost of living is low, so…

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Did you know that Osama bin Laden is making about $32,000 in Northern Pakistan? That’s my best guess for where he’s employed, anyway - I also searched for him in Afghanistan and came up with the same number. You might think that’s a fairly low income for someone so famous, but keep in mind that prices are so much lower in tribal regions. At that wage he can afford a half-dozen posh caves and apparently evade the world’s only remaining superpower.

That’s not what she said last night

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Last but not least, here’s final proof that all those elementary-school insults were more than just childish taunts. According to the most scientific data available, your mom makes $41,000 per year working the street corner.

For years, he has been ever with us. A familiar face in the grocery aisle, quick to ease our hunger. But he shall serve you rice no more, for Uncle Ben has been promoted to CEO (or perhaps chairman of the board) of Uncle Ben’s Inc.

Uncle Ben, instant rice pitchman, has long been seen as a holdover from less polite times. He clearly was not meant to be your actual uncle, or even that guy your dad knew from school that everyone made you call “uncle” as a creepy sign of pseudo-familiarity and respect.

Since he was an older black man, dressed as either a manservant or perhaps maitre d’, and “uncle” was a disrespectful way to refer to blacks in the South, it seemed perhaps he was just another racist stereotype. Oh, they told us that he was a farmer known for the best rice in the region, but why the fancy duds?

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Well its official the lead villain for the next Batman movie will be the Joker, and will be played by none other than…. Heath Ledger?!? First off am I supposed to believe that this was the director’s first choice. There are literally dozens of other actors I can think of who would be far more likely to be cast, Hugo Weaving, Crispin Glover, Bruce Campbell, anyone else really. This leads me to my assumption that the casting was studio driven. Batman is a huge franchise and millions of dollars have already been invested in it. So obviously the studio wants a bad guy who will appeal to a large audience, and not necessarily be the best fit for the part. Obviously coming off of the successful movie Broke Back Mountain, Heath ledger would be high on their casting lists. He has high female appeal, which would in their minds help a movie with a primarily male audience. Obviously no one at the studio has ever read a comic book, they were probably too busy in school getting laid, so they don’t have an idea what the Joker is like and why Heath Ledger will suck as him.

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One of the more interesting aspects of the Batman / Bruce Wayne character is that in addition to fighting crime, he also runs a large, multinational corporation. Actually, it’s not so much interesting as it is an excuse for him to have enough money to constantly buy bat-supplies.

But you have to wonder what it must be like to work for Wayne Enterprises. Since you are reading this, instead of doing work, it is probably more pertinent to wonder what it’s like to get fired from Wayne Enterprises.

Below are 10 ways to get fired from Wayne Enterprises. Note to fanboys: all the items below are strictly in canon (see references in (parenthesis)). (more…)