10 ways to get fired from Wayne Enterprises


August 23rd, 2006

One of the more interesting aspects of the Batman / Bruce Wayne character is that in addition to fighting crime, he also runs a large, multinational corporation. Actually, it's not so much interesting as it is an excuse for him to have enough money to constantly buy bat-supplies. But you have to wonder what it must be like to work for Wayne Enterprises. Since you are reading this, instead of doing work, it is probably more pertinent to wonder what it's like to get fired from Wayne Enterprises. Below are 10 ways to get fired from Wayne Enterprises. Note to fanboys: all the items below are strictly in canon (see references in (parenthesis)).
  1. Take the company private via an IPO, then demote Morgan Freeman to the Archives division. No one puts baby in a corner! (reference)
  2. Invent a popular puzzle-based video game, have your unscrupulous boss take all the credit. (reference)
  3. Murder a young boy's parents in from of him. (reference)
  4. Write an email that says Bruce Wayne sucks. (reference)
  5. Write an email that says Batman sucks. (reference)
  6. Write an email that says Bruce Wayne and Batman suck in equal and identical ways (reference)
  7. Violate the code of business conduct and do poorly on your quarterly performance reviews. (reference)
  8. Question the budget item marked “Batmobile tires� (reference)
  9. Cripple Batgirl. Just kidding, that's pretty funny. (reference)
  10. Mention to Bruce that you knew his father. When Bruce asks if you worked for Wayne Enterprises when you were younger, clarify that you meant you knew him in the biblical sense. (reference)

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  1. 11. Get caught looking at porn on your work computer of underage Robin (I’m talking about the female one, not Dick Graysoon, he only does baloon porn).

    D WallZ
    August 24th, 2006 at 11:34 am

  2. 12. Don’t bother ever using a spell checker so that you end up posting things like “Murder a young boy’s parents in FROM of him.”

    tracy n
    September 7th, 2006 at 2:41 pm

  3. 13. Continue to violate the terms in your employment contract after repeated warnings. This also fits into a list called “How to Get Fired from Every Job.”

    Todd
    September 11th, 2006 at 12:44 am

  4. Re: 13, very true, but the contract is pretty draconian. Not every place has a noncomptet clause that includes, but is not limited to, “other defence contractors, multinational competitors to Wayne Enterprises, the Legion of Doom, and the Avengers.” I think it’s overly broad, especially since the Avengers don’t even exist in that universe.

    Jason
    September 11th, 2006 at 1:00 am

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