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Everybody’s Baby Got Back

The year was 1992. Although we didn't know it at the time, America was on the tipping point of a major paradigm shift in fashion, music, and body image. For years, Cosmo had been telling women that they were fat, and a self-reinforcing stereotype of beauty required that there be little, if any, junk in the trunk if a woman was going to be considered attractive. Sir Mix-a-Lot burst upon the scene with his seminal song and video, "Baby Got Back." Watch the video below and marvel at the audacity, the boldness of his declaration: "I like big butts and I cannot lie." [youtube]7Y3vqhpdnxE[/youtube] "Baby Got Back" has gone on to be one of the most frequently covered songs of all time. You may have noticed this if you've ever gone to a bar with karaoke. Baby Got Back is almost inevitably sung. This retrospective is not, however, about the drunk and deeply embarrassing crooning of your uncle about his anaconda. There have been many skillful reinterpretations of Sir Mix-a-Lot's masterpiece that we will examine today. It turns out that Sir Mix-a-Lot was not even the first to perform the song. He was actually covering an earlier version from Bob Dylan. It's a little known fact that Bob Dylan actually wrote most of the number 1 hits of the past 30 years (via LawGeek). [ifilm]2842442[/ifilm] Edit: for some reason iFilm isn't allowing embedding. Here's the link: http://www.ifilm.com/video/2842442 Jonathan Coulton gives perhaps the most soul-searching performance of the song. Where Mix-a-Lot employed bravado, Coulton exposes the layers of his soul. We truly believe he "wants to get with you, and take your pretty picture." Anyone who can watch this video without shedding a solitary tear, like a native American looking at a polluted landscape, is inhuman. [youtube]Ltjbnyvq_SI[/youtube] By this point it should be surprise you that "Baby Got Back" has made it's way to the stage as well. In this Gilbert and Sullivan production, a modern major general adapts Mist Mix-a-Lot's opus to instruct a lust band of pirates on the benefits of badonkadonk in order categorical. [youtube]qkJdEFf_Qg4[/youtube] Legendary lounge singer Richard Cheese contributed this late version, adding a certain sexual menace that was underplayed in the original. I dare any lady to listen to this song and not swoon, head-over-heels. [youtube]KCv2cgIlnHA[/youtube] In this final video, we have proof that the song is irresistible. Even the threat of Wal-Mart bannage is not enough to stop it. [youtube]1GKaVzNDbuI[/youtube]

What Wouldn’t Jesus Do? The Five Funniest Videos of the Son of God

In honor of the passing of Jerry Falwell, who made a mockery of Christ's teachings, we present the best mockeries of Jesus himself. Actually, that's a bit harsh - these aren't really mockeries, more like satire. 1. First off, in Passion of the Christ 2, Judgment Day, we see Hollywood logic extended to Mel Gibson's blockbuster. A box-office hit deserves a sequel, and any self-respecting sequel needs twice as many explosions. [youtube]EWuji6TADXM[/youtube] 2. Family Guy pairs Jesus with Chris Tucker. Finally, some recognition that Jackie Chan is equal to one-third of the holy trinity. [youtube]NqH2dGettBw[/youtube] 3. Monty Python's Life of Brian is, of course, the classic elseworlds version of Christ. Brian is almost, but not quite, Jesus. In this scene, Brian tells us that we're all different: [youtube]qANMjwLmo6Y[/youtube] 4. A modern-day Jesus feels strongly that he will survive. [youtube]fN1dPtEph2U[/youtube] 5. Finally, UltraChrist gives us the most probable scenario. Jesus, returned after nearly 2000 years, finds today's youth just don't relate to him. So he casts away his robes for spandex and becomes UltraChrist! This may also be the only movie depicting Jesus vs. Hitler, Jesus vs. Richard Nixon, and Jesus vs. Jim Morrison. [youtube]uWAkNr_gGh8[/youtube] Did I miss any? put a link to any other great Jesus-based comedies in the comments below. By the way, I disqualified at least one video for cheating - Yakety Sax makes anything funny.

Funny Moments in Unfunny Movies

I often wonder how movies get made, specifically: how does a studio decide to film one script and not another? I think about this a lot because so many bad movies get made each year that the decision-making process must involve coin-flipping or developmentally disabled children. The worst, perhaps, are the unfunny comedies. A crappy action movie might still have good explosions, and a boring drama will at least show the clerk at Blockbuster that you are a smart person with discerning tastes. But unfunny comedies have no redeeming value. Even unfunny movies, though, can strike comedy gold once in a while. Below are five funny moments in some very unfunny movies. 1. Freddy Got Fingered This is a great example of an unfunny movie, winning the 2002 Razzie Award for Worst Actor, Worst Director, Worst Picture, Worst Screen Couple, and Worst Screenplay. Tome Green had his moments on MTV, but got pretty tiresome pretty quickly. None of those moments made their way into Freddy Got Fingered, except one: [youtube]v1YIT-HINKg[/youtube] "Daddy would you like some sausages" is a classic. The way the sausages seem to dance, the light playing off their string-bound casings like the laughter of children on a summer day... brilliant! But the rest of the movie is almost unwatchable. I apologize for making some of my friends watch it a couple years ago. 2. The Tuxedo I'm a Jackie Chan fan, but his American movies are pretty hit or miss. He and Owen Wilson were great in Shanghai Noon, but the sequel for some reason fell flat. The Rush Hour movies have been entertaining, but then there's The Tuxedo. The premise: Jackie Chan is just a normal guy who accidentally gets a secret agent's super-powered tuxedo. Hijinks ensue. With a setup like that, and a gifted physical comedian like Chan, you can't lose, right? Apparently you can. The movie just doesn't take full advantage of Chan, the plot is ludicrous and uninteresting, and the jokes aren't funny. Expect for one. Jackie Chan and Jennifer Love Hewitt are trying to get into a fancy restaurant to spy on the bad guy or something boring like that.
Maitre'd: I'm sorry, you don't seem to be on the list. Jennifer Love Hewitt: Slip him some cash. Jackie Chan (trying to sound smooth): I believe you will find us listed under the name... Washington [hands the Maitre'd a single]. Maitre'd: [stares] Jackie Chan: Maybe it is listed under Lincoln... Washington... Washington... Me: [laughs for the first time in 45 minutes].
But after that, no more funny. Just to prove the point, this movie couldn't even wring a laugh from the violent death of James Brown: [youtube]rj4uMQU1tos[/youtube] 3. The Wild Wild West This is a terrible movie. What's worse, before the trailers came out, I had high hopes. I'm not a raving Will Smith fan, but I think he's underrated as an actor (see Six Degrees of Separation and Ali) because he always plays himself in action movies. He's a likable guy, so to tell you the truth I don't mind seeing Will Smith play himself in action movies. I also like the whole steampunk alternate-history concept. Now that I think about it, though, steampunk movies/cartoons/books are pretty much always disappointing. At any rate, Wild Wild West turned out to be pretty crappy. But there was one scene that was funny, mainly because it was so mean-spirited.
Evil Mastermind in Wheelchair: Mister West! How nice of you to join us tonight and add COLOR to these monochromatic proceedings! Will Smith: Well when a fella comes back from the dead, I find that an occasion to STAND UP and be counted! Evil Mastermind in Wheelchair: Miss East informs me that you were expectin' to see General McGrath here. Well, I knew him years ago, but I haven't seen him in a COON's age! Will Smith: Well, I can see where it'd be difficult for a man of your stature to keep in touch with even HALF the people you know. Evil Mastermind in Wheelchair: Well, perhaps the lovely Miss East will keep you from bein' a SLAVE to your disappointment! Will Smith: Well, you know beautiful women; they encourage you one minute, and CUT THE LEGS OUT from under you the next!
Don't believe me about the rest of the movie sucking? Watch below to see what Robert Conrad, star of the original television series, thought about the movie: [youtube]uKM5lo1oENI[/youtube] 4. Little Nicky Oh Adam Sandler. Your emotionally-stunted, speech-impeded man/boy characters were always so entertaining on Saturday Night Live. But they just don't translate well when stretched out to 90 minutes. Little Nicky is a classic case. Sandler plays the son of satan himself, and his brother is trying to turn the earth into his own hellish domain. Something like that... anyway, there's some sort of convoluted plot that doesn't matter. It's strange but not particularly funny, until Nicky's brother starts his huge demon-concert to steal people's souls (or something). The entertainment? Henry Winkler, covered in bees! [youtube]eLdjwGV5730[/youtube] 5. Scary Movie When Scream come out, it breathed new life into the horror genre by adding a sense of humor and self-awareness to a genuinely scary plot. Then about a thousand similar movies tried to ride its coattails. Then, the Wayans bothers tried to spoof it with Scary Movie. It is very hard to spoof a movie which is already a comedy. So it shouldn't be too surprising that Scary Movie was fairly flat. It wasn't actually that bad, but there were too few laughs per minute running time. Until the very, very end of the movie. I won't spoil it here, so no YouTube clip. You'll have to watch it yourself, the whole movie, so you can see the end. I guess you can skip ahead to the end but it will probably be less funny without context.

Super Heroes vs. Real Life

Super heroes. We see them in movies, watch them on TV, and if you're a nerd, read about them in comics books. The Internet is home to countless arguments over which super hero has the best powers, whom could beat up whom, and what would happen if Lois Lane and Superman finally did hook up. It used to be that the life of a super hero was predictably unrealistic. Most super heroes are more likely to travel through time and fight dinosaurs than run out of toilet paper. In the past decade there have been a number of comic books that took on this dichotomy and tried to depict what life would really be like if you were invincible, but otherwise just a normal guy. This hasn't really filtered down to popular television and movies, with the possible exception of the TV show Heroes and to some extent the Spider-Man movies. That's why today, we're going to look at some of the rare depictions of the real life of super heroes. There is nothing more real than the Real World, so we need look no further than Real World: Metropolis: [youtube]C1Ic1eaUVOE&NR[/youtube] At the end of the last X-Men movie, Magneto found himself powerless, but even worse, out of a job. Luckily, Starbucks is always hiring: [youtube]4y8v7kkpQm4&NR[/youtube] Super heroes, like rock stars, travel the country and get all the chicks. So how do they come to terms with their illegitimate children? [youtube]gkhaCLx6vys[/youtube] Some super heroes have indomitable will power, but that doesn't mean they always bring their A-game to the softball match against the Legion of Doom: [youtube]4yal8GOOXlU[/youtube] Here's the part where I was going to put clips from The State and Robot Chicken, but Viacom in their faceless, corporate wisdom has pulled those videos from YouTube. Good move Viacom! I bet now instead of seeing free advertising, all our readers are running out to buy your DVDs. Finally, although none of us have had to dig ourselves out of our own grave (having been drugged and put there by Kraven the Hunter), pretty much everyone has had to outdance a cow. How will Spider-Man handle that situation? [youtube]ijc_0Hk_8Zo[/youtube]

Genre Bending: Five Great Movie Trailer Spoofs

The rise of YouTube, Google Video and other video sharing web sites has lead to more than just copyright infringement.ÂIt has lead to some pretty clever satire, in the form of movie trailer spoofs. Of course, in a world where a two-second sample from a three-note guitar solo is copyright infringement, the creators of these videos have probably already been sued. But enough pontification, here are five movie trailer spoofs well worth watching. Just a spoon full of sugar... [youtube]2T5_0AGdFic[/youtube] Thou shalt not lie... [youtube]u1kqqMXWEFs[/youtube] All work and no play... [youtube]Gf7h6o3I8yw[/youtube] I don't know how to quit you... [youtube]8uwuLxrv8jY[/youtube] I know what love is... [youtube]4P-PrftFmsI[/youtube] Thanks to Spoofd for the Mary Poppins link.