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Breaking News! Old Men Like To Marry Younger Girls!

hugh.jpgOh, and it makes them live longer.  Today’s headline article on Yahoo states that hard working scientists over there at lifescience.com are boasting that old men should be marrying and having children with younger women.  They say that it would be beneficial for the entire species!  I have a hypothesis of my own: the researchers are old men, wondering how to get beautiful young girls to sleep with them since they were not stinking rich like Hugh Hefner.  Because, let’s face it, non of those bleach blond airheads are at the playboy ranch because they find Hugh attractive.  If you disagree, you are a man above the age of 55.  Maybe one of these researchers?

Either way, the article goes on to say something about Darwin, I really don’t think that they know much about Darwin, they just mention him in passing.  And then, folks, it advocates killing women genetically after menopause.  Oh, so old guys are soooooooo much better?  Oh, yes, cause as a young woman I would totally love to be getting it from someone my grandpa’s age?  No.  That is gross.  I know I will be that old eventually.  I will wait till I get there.  I don’t want to be arm candy just so like a hundred years from now our overpopulation problem will suck even more because there will be people who live into their 100′s more often.  Anyway, if you don’t believe me that the people over at lifescience.com don’t want to kill women after menopause, let me just quote them here as saying:

women who can no longer reproduce are non-players, and since “it takes two,” men partnered with menopausal women are also irrelevant.Following that idea, natural selection should select for harmful mutations that impact women after menopause. Over time, the discriminating genes would accumulate in the population causing what evolutionary biologist William Hamilton called the “wall of death,” in which mortality of women spikes at the onset of menopause. (more…)

Please Just Kill Me If I Ever Get This Old And Lazy

So, in breaking Yahoo news today a couple has lived in Travelodges for 22 years.  At a Travelodge.  For 22 years.  I don’t know about you but I stay at a Travelodge because they are cheap.  Not too cheap like a Knights Inn or anything, I learned my lesson there, but really cheap to stay in where ever you go.  Not comfy cheap.  Just cheap.  And 22 years?  From what the article says it’s only really been 10 years at this one.  Here is what I don’t get.  They keep paying for the flat they own wherever it is as well.  They just go there to get the mail.  So, they pay for, what?  A house they keep and a summer hotel room?  A house no one stays in?  Seriously, if you are going to be this lazy, you may as well just sell your freaking house and get a P O Box at the post office.  It’s like a senior citizens center but they aren’t ninety and sitting diapered in their own waste.  Or are they?

Please just kill me if I ever get this way.

Money, Morals, Ethics and Big Decisions

So, what would you do if you were put into one of those classic situations where you find money that isn’t yours? I will give you three different scenarios.

Scenario 1: You find twenty dollars on the sidewalk. No one is around.

-Basically the answer to this seems pretty easy. It is impossible to determine who the $20 belongs to, so the money is now yours. If you feel guilty about it, then feel free to donate it to the Children’s Hospital or the Humane Society or whatever your choice of charity would happen to be. If no guilty, spend it on a special whatever for yourself for being so lucky. I guarantee that the person who lost it will be kicking themselves but oh well, that’s just how things go I’m told.

So, that was easy, let’s move on to scenario 2: You find a wallet. It has money in it, also some cards and a state ID. So, this time you still found money, but now you know to whom the money belongs. So, basically you have three options. A: take the money, leave the wallet where you found it, maybe the person who lost it will come back and find it and anyway, it’s finders keepers, right? B: Try to contact the person to give the wallet back unmolested by your filthy money grubbing hands or give it over to the proper authorities and hope they do the right thing as well. C: Take the entire wallet and do what you will with it. (more…)

Airline Gods Angry!!!!!

When most airlines are having technical troubles, they call a mechanic or get out the manual or something to that matter. I am assuming. I have never worked for an airline but this is what I figure happens. It is logical, it makes sense.

Not if you work for Nepal Air. An article today on MSNBC is headlined “Airline sacrifices goats to appease sky god“. I thought that this headline might possibly be, you know, something to catch my attention and that the “sacrificial goats” were like, you know, taking away the in flight pretzels or beverages, some type of budget cut. Not actual goats. And not to an actual “sky god”.

These sacrificial goats, who’s names were Mindy and Max, were sacrificed in the name of Akash Bhairab, who is the renowned Hindu Sky God. Akash Bhairab has long been in control of all flying aircraft in and out of Nepal and surrounding areas and of course, if there is technical troubles, there must be sacrifices. Max and Mindy are not the first of their kind to be sacrificed for the greater good of on time departure and arrival times. It has been rumored that the Boeing 757 in question had offended Mr. Bhairab by having “technical troubles” possibly dealing with the “electrical wiring”, two things which the ancient and all powerful sky god is not familiar with. Thus, the sacrifice had to be made.

The highlight of this entire article from our good friends at MSNBC was this little snippet:

“The snag in the plane has now been fixed and the aircraft has resumed its flights,” said Raju K.C., a senior airline official, without explaining what the problem had been.

Without explaining what the problem had been? Obviously the problem was that the 757 had offended Mr. Bhairab and measures had to be taken. There will be a funeral held for Max and Mindy in the proper manner later this week. There is no comment from Max or Mindy’s surviving family as they are goats and do not speak.

It has been rumored that Delta plans on converting all of their staff to the Hindu religion later this year to gain Mr Bhairab’s favor over their current budget crisis.

Senator Larry Craig: I am not Gay the Musical

Senator Larry Craig from Idaho, who had plead guilty to disorderly conduct for coming on to a male police officer in an airport bathroom, says the whole thing is a huge misunderstanding.  In fact, he went on national TV to proclaim (again and again) “I am not gay!”

I don’t know if he’s gay, but the musical he’s been cast in is fabulous:

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