Save American Jobs – Reproduce!
A new report on immigration from the Missouri House is making the staggering claim that abortion leads to a shortage in the American workforce and thus leads to illegal immigration to fill the positions that should have been held by these aborted people.
First off - I am not making this up. This is not a joke post. Secondly, the report was created by a "Republican-led legislative panel" so considering the Republican stand on abortion, you can be sure that THEY are not making it up - they truly believe that abortion leads to illegal immigration.
With the midterms over and the Republicans scrambling to regain popularity they are trying to wrap three huge domestic issues - immigration, abortion and unemployment - into one little study to show how they are all related, and that the Government truly does care about domestic issues (since they ain't winning any voters over with their messes outside the country).
I wasn't aware there even WAS a shortage of American workers. If there is an unemployment rate at all (currently around 4.7%) then there is no shortage. Employers aren't begging people to come work illegally. They're perhaps begging people to come work under the table to avoid withholding taxes or to come work for dirt cheap but the problem there is not a shortage of American workers, it's a shortage of employers willing to pay a living wage and pay taxes on & benefits to their employees.
According to the article, National Right to Life estimates 47 billion abortions have been performed since 1973. Committee chairman Ed Emery says "If you kill 44 million of your potential workers, it's not too surprising we would be desperate for workers."
Let's see...if we had 44 million more people, we'd probably be more desperate for health care too. Probably more desperate for welfare. We'd probably have a larger population of unfit mothers, drug users, kids crammed in schools, and uhm...unemployed Americans!
Since all six of the Democrats on the panel refused to sign the report (one called it "embarassing") and all 10 Republicans signed it, this report clearly smacks of partisanism. Either all of the Republicans are flaming idiots or they are just signing whatever comes through to their "Republican Led Committee" inbox.
One Republican panel member, says the linked article, contends that he "didn't recall the report linking abortion and illegal immigration." Unfortunately my Google-fu is as weak as the AP writer's is who broke the story, so we won't be able to read the report ourselves to see if the Republicans possibly came up with a million other reasons why illegal immigration is a growing problem in the US or if they have just settled on abortion.
They might as well kill two unwanted birds with one stone, eh?
What do you think? Are the Republicans crazy? Are the Dems just trying to make them look crazy? Or is abortion actually a good argument for why illegal immigration is a problem in the United States?
There is a line of maybe 75 Mindless Drones all waiting to get their hands on the hottest Christmas items this season at 6:00 am. I locate my specimen, a drone in her mid 40s standing with shopping cart ready at hand. She is dressed for the occastion, wearing a thick scarf and hat, gloves with the fingers cut out and a big ski jacket from 1965. The fire of determination burns in her dull eyes like coals in a fire without oxygen.
She looks up at me as I walk towards her and grips her cart fiercely. I see she is threantened and I carefully make the universal sign of good will and guarantee her that I won't cut in line. She looks apprehensive but I think I have won her trust so I approach her with care. The whole idea is to be as careful as possible around these rare creatures since their complaicent attitude could turn violent in a moment's notice due to their incredible territorial nature.
This is a great day for science and our study on the flocking patterns of Mindless Drones. Usually these creatures move either solitary or in small groups of family units, but once a year they all gather to frequent the big box community. No one can say exactly why they only group together on this one day in such numbers but some have speculated that it's the low low prices and extra special deals that bring this otherwise reclusive creatures into direct contact with eachother. It is said that some of these creatures can be seen on the day before Christmas in the same areas but it has not been confirmed due to the striking similarity of these Mindless Drones and the more common Last Minute Shopper (Consumerous quixotic).
I sense some restlessness in the group. The time is now approaching 5:30 and the flock has more than doubled. I am in shock to see that some of these creatures have brought their young. I wonder if I am the first scienctist to actually see the parenting behavior of these fascinating animals. Most of the offspring are still sleeping in makeshift nests inside shopping carts but some of them are making loud noises, probably to attract attention from their mother. Truely incredible.
I notice that our specimen's 