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If you take a look at the CIA World Fact book, you'll see that Turkey's top exports include apparel, foodstuffs, textiles, metal manufactures, and transport equipment. What the United States government doesn't know, or doesn't want you to know, is that Turkey tops the world in a commodity not listed here: comedies. In our ongoing quest to discover the greatest comedies of all time, I decided to take a look at what IMDB had to say. IMDB does have an official list of the top 50 comedies, but I wanted more. Many lists include 100 movies, so I went to the Advanced Search and searched for all movies in the genre "comedy", with at least 1000 votes, excluding TV movies, TV shows, and direct-to-video releases. The first thing I noticed is that IMDB's search is broken, apparently "ignore TV series" really means "litter the results with lots of TV series." The next thing I noticed is something even the CIA couldn't discover: Turkish dominance of the top 3 comedies of all time. At number 1, with a rating of 9.2, is Babam Ve Oglum (2005), also known as My Father and My Son. At number 2, with an 8.9 rating, is Tosun Pasa (1976), with Hababam sinifi (1975) just a notch below at 8.8. The Turkish dominance is finally interrupted by Dr. Strangelove (1964) at the number 4 spot. I have never seen any of these films, or any Turkish comedies for that matter. But these aren't just simple flukes - they each have more than 1000 votes, and it's hard to see why they are not included in the official top 50. What makes these films so funny? Let's take a look as a memorable quote from Tosun Pasa:

Saban: [Scared] Who are you? Real Tosun Pasha: Ibrahim Pasha from Cairo is in your order, Sir! Saban: [Seriously] Who made you a pasha, sir? Real Tosun Pasha: It was with your order, Pasha! Saban: So I made you a pasha, Mr. Ibrahim? Real Tosun Pasha: Yes, Pasha! Saban: [Mockingly] Hey Ibrahim, are you Seferoglus' pasha? Real Tosun Pasha: Sorry, you lost me, sir. Saban: [Laughs] Come on Ibo, you can't fool me!

Ha ha ha heh... heh... Hmm. Perhaps there is a cultural divide. You see, pasha is a title granted within the Ottoman Empire. It was an honorific originally limited to military commanders but later used for civilians as well. Pashas rank above beys and Aghas but below khedives and viziers. There have been a number of important Pashas, for example Ibrahim Pasha of Egypt put down a rebellion of Wahhabis in Arabia and later fought in the Greek War of Independence. He was the adopted son of Muhamad Ali, though few people know that since it was left out of the film. Let's take a look at the plot summary for Babam Ve Oglum:

Sadik is one of the rebellious youth who has been politically active as a university student and became a left-wing journalist in the 70's, despite his father's expectations of him becoming an agricultural engineer and taking control of their family farm in an Aegean village. On the dawn of September 12, 1980, when a merciless military coup hits the country, they cannot find access to any hospital or a doctor and his wife dies while giving birth to their only child, Deniz. After a long-lasting period of torture, trials, and jail time, Sadik returns to his village with 7-8 years old Deniz, knowing that it will be hard to correct things with his father, Huseyin. (source)

Now that sounds funny. I can only imagine the death-during-childbirth scene takes place in fast-motion with a "Benny Hill" soundtrack, much like the examples Mr. Wallz has uncovered. I kid. Actually, all three of these movies sound pretty interesting, and if I ever finish my thesis, I'll try tracking them down. I do have to suspect, though, that their high ranking is due in part to a small, but sizable Turkish minority on IMDB who very passionately love their domestic film industry. Has anyone seen any of these three? Any Turks or Cypriots out there care to clue me in? I'd like to know: what's so funny about Turkey? [youtube]vsQrKZcYtqg[/youtube]

Recently the post was started as to what the 5 funniest movies of all time were. This is pretty hard to judge because any movie can become funny when Yakety Sax is played over it. Yakety Sax was first invented by the British during WWII to combat the germans by allowing there troops to move around in super fast motion. However, the project was abandoned when the researchers could not stop laughing at everything the test subjects did. Later Yakety Sax was adobted by Benny Hill in an attempt to make his shitty show actually funny, it worked for 65 years. So without further ado, I present the top 5 things Yakety Sax makes funny. 1. Hiroshima: True it was said all of the people dying in a atomic explosion, but watching them run around fast is hilarious. [youtube]XsZEtGjns1M[/youtube] 2. Crime: This criminal might be spending the rest of his life being raped in prison, but that doesn't mean we can't still have a lauah. [youtube]SmPzwIIDvyw[/youtube] 3. Jesus: Yeah that crucifixtion must of hurt, but thats nothing a little Yakety Sax can't fix! [youtube]4GjNSUatTc4[/youtube] 4. Germans: The sound pretty scary when they talk, but look at this little furer he's adorable! [youtube]-HAoAhRE-vY[/youtube] 5. 911: Well I guess there are somethings even Yakety Sax can't make funny... [youtube]P_vmOPrKTJE[/youtube]

Jason is confusing Cyber Space with Meat Space again and referencing something I'd said at a party regarding England's Channel 5's Greatest Comedy Movies Ever list (not Bravo, as he had thought). Being a fan of British "humour" I figured my top movies would be spot-on with our friends from the island, but instead I was incredibly disappointed by their idea of what is funny when it comes to comedy movies. I'll wait for you to click on the link and we can discuss. First off, some of my favorite comedy movies are thankfully listed. The Blues Brothers, Shaun of the Dead, Life of Brian (my #1 as well), Groundhog Day, Dr. Strangelove, Ferris Beuller, and Spinal Tap. There's also Wayne's World, which is one of those movies one tends to forget about until you see it on some sort of "Greatest Ever Comedy Movies" list and say "yeah, that was a good one!" But I have a beef with a good number of the British population's choices (or at least the population that watches Five.) First off...the animated movies. Southpark, yes. Very funny. But Shrek? Toy Story? The Incredibles? Perhaps rip-roaringly funny if you're seven, a good laugh if you're 12, but faaaar from the funniest things I've seen as an adult. Home Alone, while not animated, is also a kid's movie. Fun on Christmas but not even close to something that comes to mind when I think "greatest ever" and "comedy." That's four slots on their list that could have been filled with Christopher Guest or Mel Brooks. Next is their lust for Ben Stiller and Jim Carey. Dodgeball, There's Something About Mary, Meet the Parents, Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (not even the original movie!) and Dumb & Dumber. Puh-lease. I am surprised with their love of fart and semen jokes that the list only includes ONE Adam Sandler flick (Happy Gilmore). I'll concede Dodgeball, though, if they must have a Stiller. It is indeed a funny movie. Some more "family" movies I didn't even realize were that funny: Mrs. Doubtfire, Father of the Bride and Men In Black. I also think that American Pie is waaaay to high on the list. #3. Above The Blues Brothers, above Shaun of the Dead...luckilly they were smart enough to put it behind at least Blazing Saddles and Life of Brian. So what do I think is missing? Glad you asked: Airplane!: Absolute comedy gold with more one-liners than you can shake a stick at. Nary a week goes by without me hearing or making an Airplane! reference. Apparently the movie never made it to England, because they managed to find Naked Gun funny but not this. (Naked Gun IS funny, don't get me wrong. But it's no Airplane!) History Of The World Part I: The history of the goddamn WORLD, in comedy format. Hullo! Monty Python and the Holy Grail: Some days this is my favorite comedy movie, some days it's Life of Brian. I'd say this one spawned more catchphrases than Brian and also got more general play. You'd think the Brits would at least give it a top 40 spot with all the French bashing... Young Frankenstein: Do they know Gene Wilder in England? They know Blazing Saddles...why not this? Oh yeah...they've got Stiller. It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World: Nearly THREE HOURS of America's finest comedy legends racing around the desert trying to find "The Big W." What's not to like? Special props to the "updated" version called Rat Race, which holds a very very special place in my heart mainly because it has both John Cleese AND Rowan Atkinson in it. 40 Year Old Virgin: I bet you thought I hadn't seen any new movies in 20 years! Psych! Steve Carell is on fire these days, and Jud Apatow (of Freaks & Geeks and Undeclared fame) never lost his stuff. I was prepared to yawn at this one and ended up busting a gut. Those are some fucking funny movies. England's picks...not so much. It seems as if England is now comprised of soccer moms (footie moms?) and frat boys (soccer hooligans?) Their whole idea and embracing of "alternative comedy" must have left office with Mrs. Thatcher. I mourn for England...

Hmmm...it's hard to say what the funniest movies are. And ever? That's tough. I guess some of my favs would be: -Zoolander. That movie is just hilarious. -Borat. It's so wrong it's funny. -This is Spinal Tap. What can I say about a movie that is about mocking the music industry? -Talladega Nights. I love me some Will Ferral and Sasha Cohan. -Elf. Not a big fan of Christmas movies but this one is worth is. -Kung Fu Hustle. Tee hee hee. Well, there are some to keep you busy.

So, while trolling around the internet I found this video: [youtube]uT4dpFpiTgk[/youtube] The first thing to say about this video is that it is an advertisement.  I mean, it seems innocent at first.  They tell you that we have no perception of beauty because computers and make up artists and photography tricks, then they say that it's dove brand that wants you to know this.  Have you seen any of dove's advertisments in, say Cosmo or Red Book?  Okay, so now they are on a liberal viewpoint that says 'hey, we don't want to hide natural beauty by making every woman self concious because she has freckles or her hair doesn't do that "thing" that model's hair does.  But, they were just as bad as any other group of big business circus freaks. Not to say that I am not glad that they are aware of what they are doing to America and the rest of the world's youth.  Which is making a lot of girls who will never be happy with the type of body they have or the color of their skin or lips or eyes or hair, ect.  I am glad that they are taking a stand on it.  Good job, Dove.  They are even pushing it so far as to have women who are not impossibly thin as their models.  Making you the consumer feel that it's okay to have a big booty or some nice hour glass figure.  Atleast if their ads are sucessful. But not everyone is happy with Dove brands right now.  Follow me here, if you will.  Apparently these blond, blond women feel that Dove discriminated against them because no blond women were featured in a beauty ad.  Well, sorry that you were left out, ladies.  It sucks to be a racial minority.  A beauty racial minority.  Because blonds haven't been featured in every sexy ad since sexy ads were discovered by the ancient Norwegians long long ago. One of the quotes that I feel captures the feelings of this racial beauty minority group is the following: "Therefore, your reversed discrimination instantly makes you a hypocrite and abolishes any validity to your so called tolerant views on beauty." What do these blonds mean by this?  Do most blonds even know most of the words in this sentence?   Does this sentence even make sense in the context of the rest of this petition?  The world may never know. But, I digress.  I just wanted to give a shout out to Dove for having a campaign to make women feel like it's okay to be a normal looking woman.  I think this ad may save some suicidal teen's life one day.  Thank you Dove!