Dunkin donuts will rot your teeth and America
Dunkin Donuts, for those of you who don’t know, serves more cups of coffee a day than any other retailer in the US, including Starbucks. The chain, which is more prevalent in Boston than any other and maybe all other food franchises together, boasts the slogan “America runs on Dunkin.” This clever ad campaign uses a lot of catchy “They Might be Giants” songs, which have nothing to do with coffee or America, but never the less draws attention to the TV or Radio and more importantly to Dunkin Donuts.
When I first moved to Boston in January I didn’t get caught up in the hype too much. I wasn’t a coffee drinker, rarely ate breakfast, and couldn’t even tell you where the closest Dunkin’ was to my house. Soon though, I became sucked in. After a few months of heavy drinking in my new city, I decided I needed a new cheaper vice. First, I contemplated cocaine, but decided that wouldn’t be much cheaper or very convenient. Second I tried self-asphyxiation; it provided a nice buzz, but several times I blacked out and/or broke blood vessels in my eyes. Then in a moment of weakness to mass marketing, I stopped at Dunkin Donuts and bought my first Iced Coffee or “The Ice” as I’ve come to call it.