Celsius Humor Post Science

Fahrenheit vs. Celsius

I am writing this article as a companion piece to Jason’s “Why we need the Metric System�, and because I am too lazy to think up an original topic. As hotly contested as the subject is of Standard vs. Metric, Fahrenheit vs. Celsius is even more so. Why, how many times a day do you ask, how many kilometers is that dog or how many yards is that telephone pole? Or I wonder how many micrograms is that fly is or I am curious as to the poundage of that phat ass. If your like me than hardly any at all. But people are constantly asking what the temperature is. It drives what they wear, where they go and what type of food they eat. That is why it is so imperative to have a reliable temperature system. Now there are pros and cons to both systems. Celsius is easy because it goes up by amounts of 10, 0 being freezing and 100 being boiling points of water. So for all the retards out there it is very handy. But do people really need to know those things, I mean you put water into the freezer and viola! It turns to ice, not like you have to sit there with a thermometer and check it every 10 minutes to make sure it stays at 0 degrees Celsius. Fahrenheit on the other hand is much easier to learn because it just makes sense. On a hot day it’s in the 90’s, boy that sure sounds hot. And on a cold day it is in the low 10 or maybe 5’s, brr I’m cold just typing it! Celsius on the other hand is retarded, oh man its 23 degrees outside lets go swimming! I don’t think so, not in my America pal. However, Fahrenheit does have its negative points. For one Fahrenheit sounds like a Nazi name. I’m sure Hitler wasn’t telling his generals to burn all those Jews at 100 degrees Celsius (the actual melting point of Jews is 164 degrees Celsius). On the other hand Fahrenheit does sound really cool as a title for books or movies. Could you imagine Michael Moore’s Movie Celsius 911, Boring! Fahrenheit 911 just sounds sexier and is the perfect way for a fat talentless hack to make lots of money over our worst national tragedy. In conclusion there are several reasons why both systems are equally good. But since we use Fahrenheit in America the rest of the world should just fall in line and do as we say. I mean when has Europe been right about anything, that’s right never. Oh and don’t even mention that Kelvin scale shit to me. What is a Kelvin anyways. The only Kelvin I know is 36, lives in his Mom’s basement and plays Star Wars Galaxies all day (He does have a lvl 50 tuscan raider bounty hunter that totally pwns!!!). You are free to disagree with my opinion, but that’s probably just because you are a godless Commie bastard.