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More Old Fashioned Ads

More ads? Like the first two weren't enough? Well, here are some more for you who are just gluttons for punishment. honeywell_email_ad_1977.jpg Something tells me that if this guy is Mr. Laurie Reeds that the internet is screwed. And in 1977 they had a much more fun view of what email looked like. I want my email to do a Harry Potter like send and delivery. With the little electric lightning bolt and everything. I mean, it doesn't look anything like that when the government reads my emails now. Because, you know, I might be a terrorist. Probably because I am pissed that my country is soooo graciously allowing me to perform a civil service called Jury Duty Service. chinese-cherry.jpg What did we have against the Chinese back in the day? I really haven't seen too many Chinese people with buck teeth. And that they powdered them and made them into an imitation cherry flavored (Chinese flavored) dietary flavor drink mix? Pillsbury, you have gone too far with this funny-face drink. Too far, good sir. And for only a dime? I think that two quarts of Chinese people flavored cherry drink are worth more than 10 cents. But I will tell you that they do not come pre-sweetened. That has to be added later with the cherry flavor. usc-card.jpg Some how I think that this is exactly what the terrorists want us to do. They want us to think we can have totally cool jet powered bicycles but then they will just send us crappy broken parts and directions in English so broken I think it might be it's own language completely. I bet it doesn't even come with all the parts you need. It's probably missing the most important piece, the one that will piss you off the most when you can't find it. And since it's mail order, you can't even take it back to Wal*Mart and complain. And, if you do ever get it built, it will probably just kill you anyway. cig.jpg I know I already did cigarettes but just look at this one! I mean, these Christmas time cigarettes are gay. Phillip Morris wants you to call for him when you have a hankering for something a little gay. a0655-72dpi.jpeg This is something new for the boys. It's a proverbial 'boys only' type of toy. With rifle like accuracy you too can use science and technology to beat lesser boys in a game of men. I hear the boys are delighted with their five strong inches that can never be disarranged and that will last forever. I mean, it's not the size of the marble shooter but how you use it that counts. thorazine.jpg And finally from our friends at Smith Kline and French, a way to control senile agitation. By drugging them into a stupor until their dead. I heard that four out of five cases of senior abuse go unreported. And it's all thanks to Thorazine. Thanks for reading these. Give me a shout back if you liked them or found any other fun ads to make silly jokes at.