Author Archive - Todd
2010: An Estate Tax Odyssey
Advertisers Think You Are a Moron: Head On!!
Someone once said "Nobody ever lost money underestimating the intelligence of the American people." That somebody was probably in advertising. This is the first in a periodic series of posts about the many insulting commercials that advertisers foist on the public, assuming the unwashed masses are uniformly stupid. Here is a commercial for some product called Head On that I saw recently:
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There are so many annoying facets to this commercial I don't even know where to begin.
First, the voice rapidly screams an obscure directive at the viewer, as if you are a POW in some Kampuchean prison camp. I've seen The Deerhunter multiple times, I know the feeling one has when a foreign prison guard screams at you unintelligibly. An old dictum states that if you repeat something often enough, people start to believe it. But you have to do it more than three time. Three times is just enough to be annoying but not enough to trick you into thinking you must apply something directly to your forehead. The advertisers are treating you like a convict.
Second, why do you need to apply something to your forehead? What is this product for? I wanted to apply the business end of a hammer directly to my forehead after watching this ad, but that wasn't what they were going for. There is just not a lot going on in the forehead region. Wrinkles and acne is all I can think of, but that product looks like a big chapstick. The whole thing sounds a little creepy and is possibly sexual. The advertisers have not even deigned to consider that a consumer would want to know what is being sold to them, expecting that repetition and clear directives are all that the zombies in front of the television screen deserve.
Finally, that green grid in the background slowly folds towards the viewer, as if the robot announcer is lulling you into a stupor so Head On can capture you with his grid-net. The advertisers are treating you as prey.
Read this blog during your lunch hour. Read this blog during your lunch hour. Read this blog during your lunch hour.
Phantom Stocks and Dividends: Executive Deception
People love to bemoan the supposed excess of corporate executives, especially in the wake of the major corporate scandals that have been front page news for the last few years. People say that executives are obese pigs feeding from the corporate trough, reincarnations of decadent Roman emperors gorging themselves on rampant profit, big-bellied Nash caricatures come to life, etc. Well, nobody actually says those things in those words, but that is the general sentiment. All things being equal, executive pay is the product of market forces and it is hard to argue with what the market is wiling to bear. Weak compensation committees on boards of directors may indirectly contribute, but that is the concern of the shareholders who elect board members, not John Q. Public. But all things are not equal and executives can and do use guile and omission to enrich themselves in ways that deceive the very shareholders they are supposed to be ultimately working for. Here is one such deceit.
Many corporate executives are paid partially in stock options. This, theoretically, aligns the incentives of the executive with the incentives of the corporation as a whole and its shareholders. The better the company does, the higher its stock price will rise, and the more money the executive can cash in his options for. For example, say Company ABC's stock price is $20 per share. An executive is issued 10,000 stock options priced at $20 per share as part of his annual compensation, optionable in three years time. At the end of those three years, ABC's stock price has risen to $30 per share. If the executive chooses to cash in his options, he effectively pays $20 to receive $30, a $10 profit. In this scenario, the executive makes $100,000 (10,000 options multiplied by the $10 increase over the option price). This is very simple stuff.
Sometimes, the options are issued not with a time constraint, like three years, but with a performance or market constraint. This means the options are not optionable unless some sort of performance or market outcome is reached. (and it also means these aren't strictly options, but they do have the same characteristic of only being worth anything under specific conditions). This ties the executive's pay directly to some specified goal. These are sometimes known as phantom stocks, because they don't really "exist" until the goal is met. If the goal is never met, then the executive never receives the stocks at all and gets nothing for that portion of his compensation.
But, crafty executives and rubber stamp boards of directors have found a way to ruin even this very specific incentivized compensation by creating phantom stocks that pay dividends regardless of whether the executive ever meets his goals. In some cases, phantom stocks paid out over $200,000 in dividends every year, completing defeating the original purpose of using phantom stocks.
Next time you are thinking of investing in a specific company, take the time to check out the company's yearly proxy statement, available for free on the SEC's website. Under new SEC regulations, the disclosure requirements for executive compensation have been expanded and particularized, making it easier for the average person to read and understand the convoluted structure of executive pay and making it harder for deceitful executives to hide the true nature and extent of their compensation packages.