Unsought Input

Recently I received the worst job inquiry I have ever seen. I’ve had my resume floating around on job sites like Dice and Monster.com since the last time I was actively looking, more than three years ago, so I periodically get emails from keyword-searching recruiters. But nothing like this. This is a masterpiece:

HI, GREETINGS!!! WE ARE LOOKING FOR UI DEVELOPER SPECIALIST WITH BELOW SKILLS TITLE: UI DEVELOPER SPECIALIST Ø LOCATION: CULVER CITY, CA Ø TAX TERM: CON_CORP CON_IND CON_W2 Ø PAY RATE: ALL INCL Ø LENGTH: 12 MONTHS SKILLS: AJAX CSS PHOTOSHOP JSP HTML JOB DESCRIPTION: A MINIMUM OF 5 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE WORKING IN A TEAM ON A COMPLEX-PHASED NEW TECHNOLOGY MEDIUM SIZED WEB PROJECTS UNDERSTAND SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT METHODOLOGY (PREFERABLY RUP) ABILITY/DESIRE TO UNDERSTAND BUSINESS PROBLEM THAT THE APPLICATION IS TRYING TO FIX/SOLVE RESPONSIBLE FOR DEVELOPING THE USER INTERFACE FOR A COMPLEX WEB APPLICATION WITH A LOT OF DATA ENTRY SCREENS, WORKFLOWS, VIEWS AND REPORTS EXPERIENCE USING TOOLS SUCH AS PHOTOSHOP OR ILLUSTRATOR TO PRESENT DESIGN COMPS, UI OPTIONS PARTICIPATED ON PROJECT WITH EXTENSIVE UI REVIEW PROCESSES AND CHANGES CAN PRESENT AND IDENTIFY USABILITY CHALLENGES AND SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT. CAN DESIGN PAGES WITH USABILITY IN MIND EXPERIENCE USING TECHNOLOGIES SUCH AS HTML, CSS, JAVASCRIPT AND XML EXPERIENCE WITH BLEEDING EDGE TECHNOLOGIES SUCH AS AJAX AND FLEX (ACTION SCRIPT) EXPERIENCE WORKING ON SITES THAT HAVE A JAVA BACK-END; WORKING KNOWLEDGE OF JSP EXPERIENCE WORKING ON PORTAL BASED SITES (NICE TO HAVE) EXPERIENCE ON PROJECTS WHERE SLICK UI**S AND HIGH PERFORMANCE PAGES ARE A KEY CAN UNDERSTAND AND EXPLAIN CROSS BROWSER CHALLENGES, PERFORMANCE CHALLENGES BASED ON UI DECISIONS ETC. MUST BE ABLE TO PROVIDE EXAMPLES DELIVERABLES WILL INCLUDE: LOW-TECH MOCKUPS USING PHOTOSHOP, ILLUSTRATOR, EXCEL OR VISIO HTML PROTOTYPES WITH FUNCTIONING JAVASCRIPT AND DATA INTERACTIONS FLEX APPLICATION DEVELOPMENT TO SUPPORT THE BACK-END DEVELOPMENT TEAM JSP DEVELOPMENT TO SUPPORT THE BACK-END DEVELOPMENT TEAM .PLEASE RESPONDS WITH YOUR UPDATED RESUME AND THE FOLLOWING DETAILS RATE EXPECTATIONS | IMMIGRATION | AVAILABILITY | CURRENT LOCATION| CONTACT NUMBER ——————————————————————————– WARM REGARDS, JOHN ADAMS | SIERRA INFOSYS | [ed: removed] PHONE: [ed: removed] (OR) [ed: removed] | [ed: removed] ——————————————————————————–
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Disclaimer: This article is about women and their “time of the month” so if you don’t want to read about it, please stop now. I mean, I would hope that you knew what this article was about from the title but I wanted to make sure.

So, while I was checking my email this morning Yahoo suggested some reading material as I waited for some pics to upload. This tasty tidbit of information supplied by my emailer of choice did catch my eye, seeing as how I am always interested in ways to skip out on my workout program even though I want to lose the weight. I don’t know, I guess that is just how I am. Anyway, according to Yahoo, this article was going to tell me everything I ever wanted to know about whether or not working out while on “that time of the month” for us women made us more prone to accidents. It said so right on the little link. I had so much hope for it. I really did.

Well, anyway, I did click on the link. And that brought me to the above article that is the pretty blue link right there in the previous paragraph I just wrote. And do you know what I found out?

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Nothing. We go back and forth in a relatively long article about women’s health and sports and menstruating, but no conclusion is ever drawn. In fact, this article is so watered down and middle of the road that I didn’t even want to read the whole thing. But I did. Unfortunately. And I walked away from it knowing the same thing I knew before I read it, just robbed of 7 minutes of my life that I will never get back. Damn you, Yahoo!!!!

Here are some snippits for you, just to give you an idea why you don’t want to read Yahoo’s article, in case you felt the need.

Some, though not all, studies have found an increased risk of injury during certain parts of the menstrual cycle.

Hmm…some, though not all, eh? Wow, that is some pretty potent journalism. (more…)

Sci-Fi movies invariably have cool, futuristic gadgets that are much more interesting than silly things like characters and plot. Luckily, the future is getting closer all the time. Although we don’t have flying cars, we do have four move technologies that will make you feel like you’re living in the future.

1. Tech: Kaneda’s electric motorcycle

Movie: Akira

Akira opens with a battle between two motorcycle gangs in Neo-Tokyo in the year 2019. The bikes are fast, dangerous, and apparently electric.

Leave it to the Japanese to make geeky future tech happen. This version isn’t quite as fast or mean looking, but paint it red and throw on some decals and the clowns won’t mess with you.

Tech we really want: SOL

Although Tetsuou eventually makes mincemeat of the The Satellite Orbiting Laser, it’s the only thing in the whole move that was able to hurt him. Plus, how cool would it been to be able to rain down laser on command? Think of all the popcorn you could make!

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Here is my awesome podcast for this week on Dog the Bounty Hunter

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I have to laugh at Brendan I. Koerner’s recent article over on Slate arguing that manually shifted transmissions are better for the environment than automatic transmissions. While in a sense, he answered the question correctly (though not completely, as Martin Schwoerer argues over at The Truth About Cars: Koerner completely disregarded the fuel efficiency of a spate of new transmission technologies - CVTs, DSGs and automatic clutches among them - that have cropped up in new cars over the last several years), he missed the entire point.

Sure, buying a manual trans car may be better for the environment, but what’s best for the environment is not buying a car at all, and if you do have to buy a car, it’s still best not to buy a new car. Regardless, Koerner’s suggestions seem to come back to buying a brand-new car. Only once does he seem to say otherwise:

This calculation, however, doesn’t include some less obvious benefits of manual transmissions. The brake pads on stick-shift cars, for example, tend to wear out less rapidly than those on automatics. And manual transmissions are relatively cheap to fix and replace, so you can wait longer to buy a new vehicle. Manufacturing auto parts is energy-intensive, so anything that can be done to curb their production has to be a plus.

Bingo. Study after study shows that just as many pollutants go into the atmosphere during the manufacture of a vehicle as during the vehicle’s lifespan once it leaves the factory. But at no point do we hear Koerner or any of the greenies advocate buying a used car. Instead, in marketing-fueled America, the message is to buy green - whether it’s Toyota’s emphasis on hybrids, Chevrolet’s emphasis on E85-powered cars or any number of consumer products (shrink-wrapped in plastic and entirely non-biodegradeable) that claim to be better for the environment.

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