Burning Sensation in my Laptop

Recently the hotly anticipated expansion for World of Warcraft, thewow_1007.jpg Burning Crusade came out. I got the chance to play it and I was blown away by the improvements made to the game play. The following are the top three coolest new additions to the game.

  1. Ability to have sex: Previously when you wanted to get it on with comely gnome hotty in the game (most likely being played by a 40 year old male nerd) you would have to stand really close to each others characters and wiggle your mouse to make it look like you were doing it. Blizzard has listened to the players and finally implemented intercourse into the game. Now you just need to walk up to any character in the game and right click on them to bring up the have sex screen. If both players click yes then it’s on like Donkey Kong. Of course, as most of players of WoW are used to in real life, you will need a credit card in order to get some. The aforementioned title of the expansion the Burning Crusade comes from the main character Emerdale Sunleaf, a Night Elf Hunter who has contracted a burning sensation in his loins after doing the nasty with a skanky Undead Rouge. He is now on a quest to find the mystical mushrooms of Ghrystan to cure his burning sensation, hence the title the Burning Crusade.
  1. Drug use: Now characters can specialize the in the new profession of drug dealer. They can make, buy and sell drugs. Look for this profession to be even more popular than tailoring. The new race the Blood Elves are especially suited to being drug dealers. Their racial abilities grant them a +2 to joint rolling and they have a natural resistance to Meth lab fires. Also their white skin gives them the ability to evade cops.
  1. Going to the bathroom: You used to have to imagine what it would look like if you character needed to poop in the game.  Well dream no more, for Blizzard has made all your scatological desires a reality. Now your level 60 Paladin can sit on his throne and take a dump in all his glory. The different races have different poop types. Gnomes drop little pellets, while the Taurens drop mighty loads big enough to choke a Thunderhead Hippogriff.

Hopefully you’ll enjoy the Burning Crusade as much as I do. I know I’ll spend hours having my Orc Shaman eating all types of foods just to see what different colors I can make his poop.

Written by D WallZ

Last 3 posts by D WallZ

  1. no sh!t unbelievable

    hadeeb sailboot
    January 18th, 2007 at 2:00 pm

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