cloning Humor Jeebus Politics Religion Science sex

The problem with cloning that there remain too many unanswered ethical dilemmas, and I don't see anybody trying to answer those questions. In fact, I don't see anybody even trying to pose the questions themselves (disclaimer: I'm not really looking), so I'll get the ball rolling. * What if I clone myself and he has sex with my girlfriend? Did she just cheat on me? But how could she cheat on me WITH me? Is this similar to having sex with someone who has multiple personality disorder? * What if my clone and I have sex with my girlfriend at the same time? Is that a threesome or a twosome? * For that matter, if I have sex with my clone, is that masturbation? * If my clone clones himself and has sex with him, can I watch? * And if I kill my clone, is that suicide, or is that murder? Or does it really count - after all, I created it, I can destroy it, right? * If my clone accepts Jeebus as his personal LORD and SAVIOR, does that mean I'm going to heaven too? And thus I can lie, cheat, steal as much as I want to and get away with it? Or will all my sinning bring him down, and we average out into purgatory for the rest of our existences? * Will my clone even have a soul? Are souls cloneable? If so, then we could just treat them like any other organ. So somebody please clone a good person and transplant their soul into mine right before I die. Pass the tequila and joint, bitch. * If I clone myself and my girlfriend clones herself and the two clones have sex with each other and have a child, do I have to pay child support for the damned thing? I'm sure W had these weighty issues on his mind when declaring stem cell research illegal/immoral/wrong/bad. We must sympathize, because I'm sure all the hard work of thinking about these issues blew a fuse in his lil' noggin.