Author Archive - Annie Mo


Old People Need Technology, Too…To Poop On…

I have to start out by saying that my step-dad and mom are truly intelligent and business-savvy people. But they really baffle me sometimes with the stuff that they do. Case 1: My mother just informed that she got an MP3 player. She's had it for a whole month collecting dust. She wanted to wait until she visited my brother for him to download songs on it for her. All that she can tell me about her MP3 player is that it's the size of a cigarette lighter. Case 2: A few years ago, my step-dad bought a really nice digital camera. One of those ones that you would pay over $1000 for. He at least took pictures with it; however, when I came 6 months later was when I taught them both how to recharge the camera and take the pictures off of the camera and put them on their computer. Case 3: About two months before my step-dad and mom got married, he got a new computer...a really nice one, I might add. It stayed in the box for two months because he wanted to wait for my husband (and I) to come visit for the wedding (2 months later) to come and hook it up. Computer manufacturers were even so nice as to start color-coding all the connection points in the back for the mouse, keyboard, etc. back then. So there was no real excuse for that behavior. Case 4: Forty percent of the time that I visit my parents, they ask me to re-hook their stereo system up. For some ungodly reason, they find a need to unplug it and take it apart often, even though I tell them not to. What did old people do when they were little and received a new toy or board game? Did they ignore the directions that came with the box and stare at the game/toy until someone that was willing to read them the directions came along? All things come with instructions now. Must they be ignored all the time? This annoys me to no end. When I get a new gadget, I start opening it up in the car on the way home and spend, at least, the next 48 hours gushing over my new toy. I don't understand why it's so hard to read instructions. Most people operate their 5 remote controls that they have for their stereo system fine. On the other hand, they can't tell you the operation of more than five buttons per remote control. That's it. Talk amongst yourselves.

Burn Your Fat, or I’ll Burn You…Fatty

For the past few months, I have been thinking about working out. After many searches, I decided to join a club exclusively for women. I'm generally not usually into all the girly "Girl Power!" stuff that they do, but it fits my purpose and it's literally up the street, so I have no excuse not to go. This past Monday I went to the branch that is about a 10-minute drive from my house because my branch was closed. I was half-heartedly greeted by an fat employee. Now, I don't have any room to talk because, according to every BMI chart (and my mom), I'm classified as overweight, the category just above "normal" for women. However, if I'm classified as "overweight", then this employee is definitely classified as "morbidly obese." Being half-heartedly greeted by this employee was a little discouraging...and made me a little angry. It's not like all the employees at my home branch are in the greatest shape, but at least you can see that they are making an effort to work out and lose weight and inches. They are all also very motivational, which everyone can use once in a while. Maybe it's because it was Labor Day and she didn't feel like working. Whatever. Deal with it...fatty. On the days that you want to get a really intense workout, you put on a little pink dot which lets the employees know that you want your chops busted on that particular day on all the machines. I usually don't take the dot because I don't do well with people barking at me as I'm trying to concentrate on exercise. I just try harder on the circuit. Well, several people walked in putting the pink dot on their bodies. This same employee acknowledged that they had the dot on, and went back to sipping her diet pepsi behind her little desk. WTF! Wrong on many, many levels! So, there was no one on the circuit even making sure that any of the ladies were even doing the exercise correctly. Thank Buddha no one had a heart attack, because the employee wouldn't have even noticed and I would have had to revive them with my nursing super powers. I'm not asking for all employees of this franchise to be like the lame Xenadrine commercials that are out there. I'm not a fan of the other exercise franchises that cower you into buying a membership and then when you end up working out (on the days that your self-esteem is willing to take several blows), you are surrounded by sweaty people working there muscles hard, neckless men (and some women) making love to his/her own image in the mirror while working the dumbbells, and the employees busting your chops at every single machine that you attempt (when they're not doing that, they're making fun of you with other fellow employees). But I digress. Shouldn't there be some kind of weight restriction on employees of major exercise franchises?