Movie Review Double Header
To start off the big summer movie season I saw two of the most hyped movies, Spiderman 3 and 28 Weeks Later. Both of these were supposed to be action-packed movies with a thrill a minute. Needless to say I was not impressed by either.
First Spiderman 3... when exactly did they decide that the needed to make Spiderman more Emo in this movie? Were they doing market research and said "hey lots of kids today are whiny bitches let's make Spiderman more like that so people relate more to him." The main problem with the movie is that there were too many villains and no plot line. We get the the New Goblin, Sandman and Venom and yet the stories for all of them are beyond lame, and none of them are really bad guys they're just misunderstood. Heck Sandman even killed Spiderman's Uncle and he still forgives him, lame. The special effects were cool but they weren't enough to make of for all the cheesy lame scenes.
The film opens with Mary Jane singing some lame song on Broadway, oh boy cuz all those comic book fanboys love musicals, yuck. When Peter Parker does he little Saturday Night Fever strut down the street you know the movie is totally garbage and the only reason it was made is because the studio execs knew it would make money. Of course a lot of people will say oh it wasn't that bad, really? These are the same annoying people who complained that X-Men 3 was the worst movie ever and that they hated it. Was X-Men 3 worse than Spiderman 3, no of course not they're both part 3 did you really expect them to be that good? Spiderman 3 is horrible don't see it, buy it or rent it. Watch the 70's Spiderman show its much better than this crap.
Secondly, 28 Weeks Later. So all of the infected people in England have died and the American Army moves in to clean everything up and they start bringing people back. Of course everything goes wrong in a predictably retarded way. The main characters kids come back to see him and they run off from the safe zone back to their old house to get a picture of their mother because a) its apparently easy to sneak out of a heavily guarded military compound especially if you are a teenager and b) plagued landscape be damned they need a photo (or they can't wait a little longer until the zone is cleaned to get it because obviously it isn't that far if they can get there by scooter.
So they get to the house and find their mom who they thought was dead is their and she's infected but she's not showing symptoms because of a rare mutation, blah, blah, blah. They take here back to th military base where the one doctor wants to study her to find a cure because they need a cure for a disease that they eradicated or something. The general just wants to kill her because if shes dead they wont need to find a cure because the disease will be gone, duh. So while she's quarantined her dumb husband sneaks in, because obviously the last infected person on the island wouldn't have guards or cameras watching her no, and makes out with her. Then he gets infected and kills her and escapes. He kills a bunch of other soldiers who apparently can't kill someone running at them with their guns because, yeah. Then they lock up all the civilians in a room to protect them, of course their is a back door to the room, because why wouldn't you put them in a room with an unguarded door, it makes perfect sense. Then evil dad breaks in and infects everybody and all hell breaks loose.
Other crap happens that whatever, and eventually the kids whose mother was infected and whose dad started all the trouble escape with a soldier. He has some change of heart and decides along with the doctor that these kids need to be saved to find a cure. Even though the army just fire bombed the city and killed most of the people that needed to be saved but whatever. Long story short all the people die except for the dumb kids who get a way on a helicopter and the one kid, the boy is infected but hes immune like his mother. Of course the last scene is stupid because we see the helicopter in ruins and infected running across Paris. So not only did they not find a cure but they have now infected mainland Europe, congratulations.
My speculation is the boy made out with his sister and she got infected and started killing everybody, but we can save that for the DVD extras. Overall the movie was totally pointless and had so many stupid logic flaws it was just dumb. Its better than the first movie but the first movie sucked so who cares. At least they didn't say that these people were zombies like in the first movie, when their just "infected". All of George Romero's Dead movies had a point and lots of social commentary. These movies are trying to do that but fail miserably and just end up being a lot of people running around and puking blood, oh boy. Rent Night of the Living Dead or Dawn of the Dead (the original) and do yourself a favor if you want to see a real Zombie movie.
Well so far the summer movies have sucked, big surprise so I'm sure the upcoming ones will suck as well, but people will see them cuz what else is there to do.