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Amusing Old Fashioned Advertisements, Women

Here are some more old fashioned advertisements for you, these ones are mostly dealing with women and where they belong. old-fashioned-ad1.jpg Yeah, boys. What were you thinking? You can't beat the Axis if you have sex with women. Look how prim and proper she looks. She is just full to the brim with gonorrhea and you don't even know it. Whatever, look, just don't say we didn't warn you. 54maidenformbra.jpg Let me tell you one thing right now, these bras are not sexy enough, even for the fifties, for me to want to masquerade around in animal masks in them. Not at all. I think the government has put illegal LSD into their water, that is what I think. And aren't the rules of masquerade that you do not remove your mask? You lose, feather face! You lose. muu_muu_ad.jpg Ah, remember in the good old days when Muu Muus were really Hawaiian and definitely all the rage as the year's most exciting fashion? Why did we let this fashion yes fall to the morbidly obese and the mentally retarded? I predict this one is gonna make a come back, just like bell bottoms and bad hair cuts on emo boys. Look, I don't know about you but this ad says that I can try it without risk. No risk, just like that, if I don't like it in 10 days, if it's not the most comfortable and useful leisure dress I've ever owned they promise to return my $1.89 minus shipping. And the topper on this deal is the free surprise. How can I pass this deal up? I'm telling you, muu muus are gonna make a come back. md29252.jpg You know it's that time in Mabel's life. The time where she can't help but be unstable and irritable. I believe it starts right around 14ish and lasts still you die if your a woman, occurring about once a month until menopause in which case it happens where and whenever it wants. Yes, Mabel is experiencing what we call "being a woman". But don't worry, folks. Dr. Alou has the cure. Busitol Sodium. Just slip this into your "woman's" drink three times a day making sure that she is eating something afterwards and you will see almost immediate results. Side effects include new facial hair, depression, uncontrollable stool and oily spotting and of course death. Brought to you by the makers of chia pet. old-fashioned-ad2.jpg Oh, a vibrator for my "gums"? Awesome. Only $6.95? I am totally on it. I mean, if it helps to stimulate my "gums", increases my circulation, is sanitary and leaves me feeling clean and refreshed why wouldn't I want one. And the ad is completely correct. And, it does make a different and useful gift. I just can't wait to get mine in the mail. I wonder why a dentist recommends this product, though. Hm... You guys want more of these? I'll think about it. I do have some more in my arsenal. Maybe if you are all good boys and girls I can post more of these, say on products...? Oh, and if you find any cool ads, feel free to post links to them in the comments section to share with all.