80;s blogging Cheese COPS He-man hollywood Humor Movies O.G.-Readmore Post PSA Teeth The-Chopper The Internet TV Zack-of-All-Trades

80′s Cartoon PSA’s

In the 1980's if you were a kid an watched Saturday morning cartoons then you might remember seeing lots of PSA's aimed at kids. They often featured cartoon characters telling you about the benefits of eating cheese or planning ahead for your future. They also usually featured funky bass lines and poor rhyming structures. I'm not sure that any of these actually helped me out now that I am an adult but here are some of the best (worst) PSA's from that era. In this clip He-man and She-ra warn kids about sexual molestation. Am I the only one who finds it creepy that a man in a loin cloth with a page boy hair cut is talking about molesting kids? And who decided to involve Orco? I mean does he even have a body to molest? [youtube]i0YPHeRrmIA[/youtube] Here's a really lame PSA that tells kids how to make a Saturday. A Saturday being a lame, health version of a Sunday. It also is quite phallic looking with that banana and whipped cream. I bet He-Man would love to eat it. [youtube]NozOppLXh18[/youtube] This one features a character called "The Chopper" who tells you to exercise you teeth by eating hard foods. First off how do you exercise your teeth, their freaking bones you idiot. All your going to do is chip a tooth eating all those, nuts, carrots, gravel, etc. And what kid eats Pumpernickel by the way? [youtube]WyyW-n8aook[/youtube] I'm sure a lot of you remember O.G. Readmore a talking cat captain who tells kids about how much fun it is to read. First of what is he a Captain in? The Army, Navy, Coast Guard? Last time I checked there weren't any captains at the library. And readin with your grandma isn't fun, trust me I know... [youtube]i-GJFnO4yc8[/youtube] Zack of all Trades was a magical career guidance counselor who came out of your jukebox to give bad career advice. Yeah become a seamstress little girl leave all those doctor, lawyer and business jobs to the men. And for someone who gives advice what's his job anyways? He apparaently has nothing but free time on his hands to annoy people all day with his lame advice. [youtube]n8M-GKmVgeo[/youtube] This next one single handedly is responsible for millions of lactose intollerant children spending their formative years on the toilet. [youtube]U3jgo5ea_zc[/youtube] COPS was a show were ridiculously over muscled cops fought ridiculously over muscled villians in the future with laser beams and other future crap. Of course since it was a show about cops it had to have PSA's about satying out of trouble and preventing crime. In this one a villian tries to scare kids straight, but the message is kind of lost because every episode he breaks out of jail and goes on a crime spree with no consequences. [youtube]JIlg-sZEA-Q[/youtube] And finally the Transformers. Here are several of their PSA's. Thanks robot from another planet you really helped me to see that I need better communication skills with my parents. Also you might notice that they stole their tagline "...and knowing is half the battle" from G.I. Joe. Apparently the concept of plagairism wasn't part of their programming. [youtube]zss5lSV-bis[/youtube] Well thats it for now I hope you learned a lot. Im going to go eat a cheese Saturday while I read about how to become a seamstress and try and stay out of jail so I don't get molested. If you want to see even more PSA's go to www.retrojunk.com.

Why Hollywood has Completely Run Out of Ideas

Hollywood is by no means the most original industry around. Pretty much every movie is based on a book, comic book, TV show or is simply a remake of a previous movie. However, Hollywood has definitely hit a new low with its new hyped summer blockbuster “Transformers the Movie�. You might be saying to yourself, hey didn’t they already make a Transformers movie and didn’t it feature Orson Wells as Unicron. Well, you are correct, they did make an animated movie that I’m sure cinematic genius Orson Wells is happy turned out to be his last one and is the only thing nerds remember about him. But, this Transformers movie is, hold onto your pants, LIVE ACTION!!!! Now they didn’t actually create robots that can change into cars, guns, boom boxes and backhoes, but it will feature some really expensive computer graphics to make these ridiculous robots seem as real as possible. Now why, you’re asking yourself would Hollywood spend millions of dollars on a 20 year old cartoon that’s only purpose was to sell cheaply made Chinese toys? Well the answer is Hollywood has completely run out of ideas. Hollywood is run by a bunch of out of touch rich, possibly gay, old men that have no idea what people want to see. They pay market research groups millions of dollars to find out what the kids like nowadays, and all they do is look what the latest stupid trend is and tell them that’s what’s hot. Right now the hot market trend is nerds. They apparently has lots of disposable income, what with living with their parents and not having a girlfriend, not that there’s anything wrong with that. Video games, comic books and cartoons are the things nerds are most interested in so obviously Hollywood is trying to cash in on the trend by making as many movies about these topics as possible before it stops being hot. Transformers is just the latest lame concept they have decided to put on the screen. Transformers is such a horrible idea for a movie because the premise itself is totally retarded. Robots eating energy cubes crash land on earth and fight other evil robots for energy cubes and control of the planet or something. First of if they can turn into other things i.e. vehicles, why can’t one of them become a spaceship and fly them home? Now your saying, oh that’s because they can’t grow larger when they transform and become a big enough ship to hold them all. Well Megatron has disproved that conservation of mass law, every time he becomes a gun and shrinks to ¼ his normal size. So all they need to do is build a Transformer that does the opposite, grows larger and becomes a ship, it’s that simple, stupid robots should have thought of that themselves. Secondly there was never really a real plot to Transformers, it was merely a 30 minute commercial each week for Hasbro to unveil its new toy for all the kids to buy. If Transformers followed any logic at all why would there be Dinobots? So Transformers started as Robots that became Dinosaurs then evolved into robots that became vehicles, which makes no sense. It goes against the Cyber-Bible that says that Unicron created the world and all the Transformers in 6.778975467 nanoseconds and rested on the 7.676784484 nanosecond. Lastly the movie will suck because Michael Bay is directing it. Michael Bay is a douche. He directed Bad Boys and Pearl Harbor, two huge suck fests. Now you might be saying, hey I kind of liked Bad Boys, did you really? Would your life be any less fulfilling if you didn’t see Martin Lawrence and Will Smith making snappy dialogue while blowing up things, I thought not. Michael Bay sucks and his movies suck too, if he were a Transformer he would turn into a tampon, not a small one a giant one. Hollywood is yet again trying to capitalize on something that was popular before rather than create something new and interesting. If they continue at this rate in a couple of years we’ll all be standing in line to see the live action Pokemon movie, I hear they’re going to use the original guy that did Pikachu’s voice, sw33t!!!

How the Internet is Ruining Movies

I came across a site today with concept art for the extremely hyped new movie, Transformers. As usual the nerds were all up in arms over the changes made to their beloved Autobots and Decepticons. But what none of these morons bothered to mention is that these were merely concept sketches and might not be anything like the finished product in the movie. By constantly having to take criticism about a movie before it is done directors are feeling pressure to alter their movies. Even a few years ago the amount of attention to people’s opinions on the internet was minimal from Hollywood. However, now movie studios and directors are paying more attention to these obsessive fan boy opinions. A negative response from them can generate enough bad publicity to kill a movie prior to it opening. For example the Hulk was ridiculed for its special effects (which were incomplete at the time) by internet bloggers which led to the movie having a poor opening. Now Hollywood is constantly concerned with appeasing all of these fanboys concerns before the movie opens lest they have a negative impact on the box office. This does not often lead to a better movie though. For example certain scenes of dialogue were changed in Snakes on a Plane, per internet requests by bloggers, but the movie still was barely tolerable. This leads to reason why so many movies are terrible, they are trying to please too many people. Directors can’t even have a completed movie before being criticized on it. Now if one piece of concept art gets criticized by a website the studio will be so panicked that they will rush to change it. Movies are no longer just the vision of a few people such as the director and writer, but become a huge compromise of thousands. In books and comic books, a writer is able to produce a finished product that is for the most part like his original vision. But with today’s big budget movies directors are forced to listen to every ones opinion about what should and shouldn’t go into the movie. People are more interested in movies than ever and want as much information about them as is available. But, people need to wait until a movie is complete before judging if it is good or not. Movies like any type of art are best when they are the product of one or a few artists. Trying to make a movie with a populist point of view where everyone is happy leads to the lame, uninteresting drivel that we see at the movies everyday.