I often wonder how movies get made, specifically: how does a studio decide to film one script and not another? I think about this a lot because so many bad movies get made each year that the decision-making process must involve coin-flipping or developmentally disabled children. The worst, perhaps, are the unfunny comedies. A crappy action movie might still have good explosions, and a boring drama will at least show the clerk at Blockbuster that you are a smart person with discerning tastes. But unfunny comedies have no redeeming value. Even unfunny movies, though, can strike comedy gold once in a while. Below are five funny moments in some very unfunny movies. 1. Freddy Got Fingered This is a great example of an unfunny movie, winning the 2002 Razzie Award for Worst Actor, Worst Director, Worst Picture, Worst Screen Couple, and Worst Screenplay. Tome Green had his moments on MTV, but got pretty tiresome pretty quickly. None of those moments made their way into Freddy Got Fingered, except one: [youtube]v1YIT-HINKg[/youtube] "Daddy would you like some sausages" is a classic. The way the sausages seem to dance, the light playing off their string-bound casings like the laughter of children on a summer day... brilliant! But the rest of the movie is almost unwatchable. I apologize for making some of my friends watch it a couple years ago. 2. The Tuxedo I'm a Jackie Chan fan, but his American movies are pretty hit or miss. He and Owen Wilson were great in Shanghai Noon, but the sequel for some reason fell flat. The Rush Hour movies have been entertaining, but then there's The Tuxedo. The premise: Jackie Chan is just a normal guy who accidentally gets a secret agent's super-powered tuxedo. Hijinks ensue. With a setup like that, and a gifted physical comedian like Chan, you can't lose, right? Apparently you can. The movie just doesn't take full advantage of Chan, the plot is ludicrous and uninteresting, and the jokes aren't funny. Expect for one. Jackie Chan and Jennifer Love Hewitt are trying to get into a fancy restaurant to spy on the bad guy or something boring like that.
Maitre'd: I'm sorry, you don't seem to be on the list. Jennifer Love Hewitt: Slip him some cash. Jackie Chan (trying to sound smooth): I believe you will find us listed under the name... Washington [hands the Maitre'd a single]. Maitre'd: [stares] Jackie Chan: Maybe it is listed under Lincoln... Washington... Washington... Me: [laughs for the first time in 45 minutes].But after that, no more funny. Just to prove the point, this movie couldn't even wring a laugh from the violent death of James Brown: [youtube]rj4uMQU1tos[/youtube] 3. The Wild Wild West This is a terrible movie. What's worse, before the trailers came out, I had high hopes. I'm not a raving Will Smith fan, but I think he's underrated as an actor (see Six Degrees of Separation and Ali) because he always plays himself in action movies. He's a likable guy, so to tell you the truth I don't mind seeing Will Smith play himself in action movies. I also like the whole steampunk alternate-history concept. Now that I think about it, though, steampunk movies/cartoons/books are pretty much always disappointing. At any rate, Wild Wild West turned out to be pretty crappy. But there was one scene that was funny, mainly because it was so mean-spirited.
Evil Mastermind in Wheelchair: Mister West! How nice of you to join us tonight and add COLOR to these monochromatic proceedings! Will Smith: Well when a fella comes back from the dead, I find that an occasion to STAND UP and be counted! Evil Mastermind in Wheelchair: Miss East informs me that you were expectin' to see General McGrath here. Well, I knew him years ago, but I haven't seen him in a COON's age! Will Smith: Well, I can see where it'd be difficult for a man of your stature to keep in touch with even HALF the people you know. Evil Mastermind in Wheelchair: Well, perhaps the lovely Miss East will keep you from bein' a SLAVE to your disappointment! Will Smith: Well, you know beautiful women; they encourage you one minute, and CUT THE LEGS OUT from under you the next!Don't believe me about the rest of the movie sucking? Watch below to see what Robert Conrad, star of the original television series, thought about the movie: [youtube]uKM5lo1oENI[/youtube] 4. Little Nicky Oh Adam Sandler. Your emotionally-stunted, speech-impeded man/boy characters were always so entertaining on Saturday Night Live. But they just don't translate well when stretched out to 90 minutes. Little Nicky is a classic case. Sandler plays the son of satan himself, and his brother is trying to turn the earth into his own hellish domain. Something like that... anyway, there's some sort of convoluted plot that doesn't matter. It's strange but not particularly funny, until Nicky's brother starts his huge demon-concert to steal people's souls (or something). The entertainment? Henry Winkler, covered in bees! [youtube]eLdjwGV5730[/youtube] 5. Scary Movie When Scream come out, it breathed new life into the horror genre by adding a sense of humor and self-awareness to a genuinely scary plot. Then about a thousand similar movies tried to ride its coattails. Then, the Wayans bothers tried to spoof it with Scary Movie. It is very hard to spoof a movie which is already a comedy. So it shouldn't be too surprising that Scary Movie was fairly flat. It wasn't actually that bad, but there were too few laughs per minute running time. Until the very, very end of the movie. I won't spoil it here, so no YouTube clip. You'll have to watch it yourself, the whole movie, so you can see the end. I guess you can skip ahead to the end but it will probably be less funny without context.