While watching a special the other night on the up-coming five year anniversary of 9/11 I found myself overwhelmed with all that our government has achieved in preventing another terrorist attack in this country. However, one comment in particular resonated with me. It was pointed out that in order for us Americans to ever be completely safe our government has to be completely on top of terrorism 100% of the time, while the terrorists only have to get it right once. For instance, that one guy with the bomb in his shoe; it's a relief to me to know that no one will ever be able to sneak other bomb onboard an airplane for as long as the literally millions of Americans that fly on airplanes every year are required by federal mandates (passed merely years after his attempt) to traipse about barefoot in airports. Err .. I meant, for as long as the literally millions of Americans that fly on airplanes every year are required to traipse about barefoot with liquid-free carry-ons. Unless of course that those liquids are neither medication nor baby food; because no one would ever feed a bomb to their baby. Or would they ... ? Now, as any freedom-loving, baby-kissing, loved-one-lost-in-the-War-on-Terror-consoling politician will tell you, these terrorist are evil, evil people who have no regard for human life and will stop at nothing to send the U.S. into a fear-stricken panic. And as I traipsed barefoot and liquid-free down this terrorist-free train of thought, it occurred to me, as if in a vision from Osama himself, the next plight of those infamous terrorist: plant a bomb inside a pregnant woman. This is a plan whose shear evil lack of regard for all human life is matched only by it's simplicity and ease of execution. Think about it: no one would ever suspect an expecting mommy to harbor such vileness and cruelty towards anyone. I mean, they can't even see their own toes! As an added bonus, it's not like the airport security is going to think to go rooting around in the whoo-ha's of every bun-toting-oven that waddles barefoot through their check-points. Plus, it's not like the terrorists will care that somebody's soon-to-be-mother gets blown to smithereens; after all, according to the popular media, as far as terrorists are concerned, women are only one step above cattle anyway. And thus, I believe it to be imperative to our national safety that we no longer allow pregnant women on airlines, trains, buses or in any other highly populated public venues, such as stadiums, concerts, and, most importantly, hospitals. If you disagree with me, you are an enemy of freedom and you are personally spitting on the graves of the thousands of men and women that have died fighting for this country.