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The Best Wii Games You’ll Never Play

The Nintendo Wii is a lot of fun, but it's in a bit of a new game drought right now. While the rest of us sit with bated breath awaiting Super Smash Brothers and Metroid, some folks have made some Wii games of their own. Or at least they pretended to and put videos on the Internet. Here's a whole series of rejected WiiPlay games from the folks at Loading.Ready.Run. Wii toothbrushing is probably the best idea ever, but there is something a little sinister about this series of clips. The Wii controller is all fun and games until someone dies in a spray of obviously fake CG blood. [youtube]MwX8I7PA6t8[/youtube] The Wiimote should not be used to spread butter, margarine, or any other spreadable food item. [youtube]9XXLrrLA6RU[/youtube] Finally, a little bit of NSFW video to keep your mind in the gutter: [youtube]JpB9BpeGJGw[/youtube]

More Mario Bros

In keeping with Dwallz post today on a live action Mario Bros, I thought I would entertain you with something I found that I thought was amusing. Please keep in mind that the titles of these videos are Mario Frustration, so could all of the water bottle toting protesters please leave the room now?

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Click on read more to see the other two parts of this video. It's worth watching even though it's 23 minutes long. I mean, you are already killing time here anyway, might as well watch it all.

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Nintendo Wii and your mother

Most people out there I will not be able to convince either way about the Wii.  Either you are already in love with is, as I am, or you hate it and Playstation/Xbox/MMORPGs are the way to go.  But you are here reading this post, so you must be interested a little. So, if you already love the Wii, what else can I say to you? We could converse about how great the system development is.  We could have lenghty chats about how great Wii Sports is, and that no, we don't understand who would actually buy for $50.00 bucks since it comes with the system.  The conversation has probably already been had at how incredible games like Zelda and Rayman are for the system and how sore our upper bodies are from the constant use of the Wii. Prose is already exhausted over how awesome and revolution- (see, if you knew that this was the system's orginal name you would think I was cool right now)ary the controllers are even though you have to buy the wii-mote and the nunchuks separately.  But, we have already had this conversation. Right now I want to talk about your mother.  Is your mom already playing your Wii?  Cause she will be.  The Wii is designed for people of all age groups, heck, the installation pamphlet has elderly people playing inside.  So, your mom is a lot younger than the elderly, right?  Has your mom already bought the Dalmations Nintendogs for her pink or teal DS Lite?  If so, your Wii is in danger of consistanly dead batteries and parental abuse.  I don't want to be the bearer of bad news but your mom may even be better than you at the Wii.  I know it's scary but it's entirely possible.  We have to face these problems together as a generation.  Games are no longer being marketed to just the youth and single men over the age of 40.  No, they are being marketed towards our mothers and grandmothers. And your mom is going to be addicted to making Miis.  She is gonna have a little parade of Mii replicas of herself and her friends in your Mii Plaza.  You will go to play bowling and in the next lane, you see your mother!! She will be on your baseball team.  You will see her everywhere.  It's going to be a Mii infestation. My solution to you?  Buy your mom her own controller.  Then, she can store all of her little Miis on her controller and not have them leave their dirty footprints in your Mii plaza. And, I mean, it is kinda creepy when a Mii that looks exactly like your mom (how did she get it so close?) is always hanging out in the bowling alley. Another thing before I wrap this up.  Any one of you who thinks that the Wii isn't worth it's weight in whatever you find to be not worth it's weight should try to play it first.  At least three of my friends who were like, 'man, the Wii is stupid, I wanna play Gears of War!' completely changed their tunes after playing just one round of tennis in Wii Sports.  They are all trying to find Wiis now, and to them I say, good luck!  They do have a better chance of getting one than if they were looking for a PS3 (way to drop the bomb Sony!) and they will have more friends in the long run since playing the Wii in a group is much more fun than playing alone. So, in conclusion, what did you learn here?

Playing with your Wii

It's great to be an Electronics Merchandiser for a megalithic retail corporation. I got to play Wii tennis thanks to my employers, and honestly, having spent five minutes smashing a store manager friend of mine, I can honestly say the hype is real. The control is right on responsive. I won primarily because I swung like I was playing tennis, as opposed to playing a tennis videogame. Even pulled off a tasty bit of spin with a little flick of the wrist. Fighting with 7000 people to get on a system doesn't leave you much time for replay. Nintendo had some of the other Wii sports on tap and some demo's showing how the controllers work (including a targetshooting game that started off with the ducks from duck hunt flying around). Talked to another Electronics guru who said the baseball game was spot on. This systems's appeal to non gamers is going to be HUGE. Discount retail store managers are generally not big on video games. A lot of them haven't touched a controler since the Atari 2600. Yet here they were crowded around the Wii display. "That feels just like playing baseball." "I'd buy this." "I could actually play this with my kids." The buzz was serious. Nintendo has the potential here to come out on top. They're not just going to grab market share, they're going to expand the market. Believe that.