Unsought Input

Hollywood is by no means the most original industry around. Pretty much every movie is based on a book, comic book, TV show or is simply a remake of a previous movie. However, Hollywood has definitely hit a new low with its new hyped summer blockbuster “Transformers the Movie�. You might be saying to yourself, hey didn’t they already make a Transformers movie and didn’t it feature Orson Wells as Unicron. Well, you are correct, they did make an animated movie that I’m sure cinematic genius Orson Wells is happy turned out to be his last one and is the only thing nerds remember about him. But, this Transformers movie is, hold onto your pants, LIVE ACTION!!!! Now they didn’t actually create robots that can change into cars, guns, boom boxes and backhoes, but it will feature some really expensive computer graphics to make these ridiculous robots seem as real as possible. Now why, you’re asking yourself would Hollywood spend millions of dollars on a 20 year old cartoon that’s only purpose was to sell cheaply made Chinese toys? Well the answer is Hollywood has completely run out of ideas.

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I came across a site today with concept art for the extremely hyped new movie, Transformers. As usual the nerds were all up in arms over the changes made to their beloved Autobots and Decepticons. But what none of these morons bothered to mention is that these were merely concept sketches and might not be anything like the finished product in the movie. By constantly having to take criticism about a movie before it is done directors are feeling pressure to alter their movies.

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I am writing about my extreme odious loathing of the fire maned humanoid-like blob of cellulite, Harry Knowles and his ilk. My main problem with him, besides his physical repugnance that would cause the most staunch conservative to support a broad eugenics program, is his crappy uber-nerd inspired “movie reviews”. Movie reviews is in quotations because they are not so much reviews as his own retarded opinions on the latest hollywood comicbook/videogame/sci-fi/fantasy novel movie crapfest. His like or dislike of movies are based on his extreme obsessiveness for the movie being as close to the source material as possible (sorry that Wolverine didn’t have enough chest hair for your liking shitdick). My other problem is that this so called “film lover” has no idea what even constitutes an actual good movie. His movie knowledge only goes back to 1977 not surprisingly the year the first Star Wars was released (yes I know it is episode IV nerdlings, but to the vast majority of the population that actually has had intercourse no one gives a fuck). Apparently the greatest directors of all time are George Lucas and Stephen Spielberg, fuck those guys like Coppola, Hitchcock, Scorcese, etc. they don’t have enough laser swords or nazis on zeppelins to be real auteurs.

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