Unsought Input

November 8th was a monumental event and big changes came to America especially for minority groups. One glaring exception was gay people who were shocked to see state amendments against gay marriage pass in three states most surprisingly liberal California.

California was shocking because recently the state supreme court okayed gay marriage but now that decision is in question. It wasn’t as if the pro-equality side didn’t have enough money to run a campaign. They raised almost twice as much as their opposition. Polling suggested that people were favoring the pro-equality side but when the time came to vote it was apparent that many people were not honest with how they really felt about the issue.

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Senator Larry Craig from Idaho, who had plead guilty to disorderly conduct for coming on to a male police officer in an airport bathroom, says the whole thing is a huge misunderstanding.  In fact, he went on national TV to proclaim (again and again) “I am not gay!”

I don’t know if he’s gay, but the musical he’s been cast in is fabulous:

We’ve shown you the total awesomeness that are Japanese obstacle course competitions. And we’ve brought you the true power and spectacle of Hard Gay. So now head three minutes into the video below to see the Beyond-Ultra-Power-Awesomeness that happens when you combine the two.

Bonus Awesomeness awaits when the British announcer points out that Hard Gay’s competitor “takes one to the old happy sacks”.

This post is called news in brief because I give brief summaries of the days news and I’m also writing while my underwear.

New Hampshire Gets a Little More Gay: NH apporved a bill to allow gay civil unions. Obviously the whole gay storyline from the Sopranos inspired them to approve the unions. The government also voted to change the states bird to the Cock.

Russians Aren’t Going to Take it Anymore: So the US has started another arms race with Russia over plans to install missle defense stations in Europe. Hurray we get to fight a new Cold War! I’m sure our troops would like to take a break from Iraq and spend some time cooling off in Siberia. Way to go W you never fail to disappoint with your stupidity.

$P4MM3R Gets Canned: One of the world’s top spammers was arrested so people’s inboxes should be a little less full too day. Of course now I don’t know where I’ll get my my free V14GR4 and other P3N1$ enlarging pills.

Fly The Infectious Skies: Some dumbass flew all around the world with a rare and dangerous form of tuberculosis after being told not to fly several times. The other passengers on the plane are being alerted and possibly treated. I order to prevent this thing from happening again anyone sneezing or coughing before boarding the plane will be shot. Better safe than sorry.

Jon Lovitz is Still Alive!: Apparently and he signed a life time deal with the Laugh Factory to appear there every Wednesday. So now if your wondering what to do on a Wednesday night in L.A. you can always go see Jon Lovitz or go to a back alley and watch a coat hanger aportion, altough the abortion is slightly funnier.

 

That’s it for today L8TR.

The movie 300, based on the Frank Miller graphic novel, has earned $70 million at the box office, breaking some records. But if you read some of the commentary out there you might not be too interested in seeing it.

All the villains are gay. All the good guys are white and the bad guys are black. The whole thing is just Frank Miller’s thinly-veiled cheering for Bush to invade Iran. Etc.

Now, 300 is definitely not a historical documentary. But I don’t think the criticisms mentioned above are completely true-although I can certainly see why many people may have jumped to them.

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In July 2006, the Washington State Supreme Court upheld a ban on gay marriage in part because

limiting marriage to opposite-sex couples furthers procreation, essential to survival of the human race…. Allowing same-sex couples to marry does not, in the legislature’s view, further these purposes….

and

…DOMA [Defense of Marriage Act] bears a reasonable relationship to legitimate state interests—procreation and child-rearing.

I just read in the Slog that the Washington Defense of Marriage Alliance (WA-DOMA) is seeking signatures for Initiative 957, the Defense of Marriage Initiative. If I-957 passes, married couples in Washington would be required to file proof of procreation within three years of their date of marriage or have the marriage annulled.

Of course, WA-DOMA doesn’t really expect I-957 to pass, and if it somehow does, the Supreme Court would no doubt strike it down as unconstitutional immediately. But I really hope this initiative passes.

Yahoo has started a new feature on its website called Yahoo! Answers. On it people can ask any sort of question they like and have it answered by other people on the web. Now if your like me your probably thinking why would I want to ask people on the web they’re all a bunch of furry loving idiot losers who are only answering questions in between looking at whatever disgusting subfetish furry site they happen to be masturbating to at the time, and you’d be right. So I took it upon myself to ask these morons a stupid question and then post their answers on this site so that they can be publicly mocked. For my first question I picked a topic that I’m sure has been on a lot of people’s mind for a while, Are all Unicorns gay or just some? Here is the original thread and below I posted the stupidest answers with my own evaluations of them.

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Hi guys! My name is Jamal and I just wanted to introduce our new Klub. This is the Gay Black Jewish Klansmen for Tolerance and Understanding Klub. I am this years (our first!) President and cofounder with Dante. I am posting a picture of our first meeting after we got the robes specially made in Mexico. (They were expensive! Who knew that pink and purple satin cost so much!)

Not pictured: Danny. We told him that he didn’t fit the criteria for the Klub but he kept showing up at Dante’s house and saying things like “I thought you were understanding! Either way, we had to change the night so he would stop coming. And, Dante’s mom told him that if he shows up again, she will call the police. Thanks Dante’s mom!

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