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Spider-Man 3 seems like a shoo-in to join Spider-Man 1 and 2 in the top ten highest-grossing films of all time, but reviews have been mixed. Right now it's running about 60% positive at Metacritic and 61% positive at Rotten Tomatoes. So is it any good? I thought so, but this isn't a movie review. As an internationally-recognized expert in Spidey Studies, I thought it would be important to point out where Spider-Man 3 gets it right, and where it get things wrong. I'll start with the bad news first, with the good news to follow in the next day or two. Please note: this is not a series of gripes over deviations from the "cannon" of the original Amazing Spider-Man comic books or anything like that. Spider-Man, like many of his his comic book and other literary brethren, has been written by many different people over the years in many different media. Instead, I hope to point out where Sam Raimi deviated from the crux of the characters or missed opportunities that presented themselves.

1. Spider-Man is never that popular.

As the film opens Spider-man has been embraced by New York as one of their own. After a dramatic rescue of the police chief's daughter, he gets even more kudos. The problem is that Spider-man never gets that much praise. Oh, he might occasionally save a falling construction worker and get cheered by a crowd, but he's invariably doubted and dogged by naysayers. And not just the muckrakers at the Daily Bugle. He certainly doesn't get the key to the city and a marching band. This is one of the reasons he's such a great character. I understand that the plot required some overconfidence on Pete's part so he would miss how troubled Mary Jane had become, but it shouldn't take much to make Pete feel appreciated, given all the negative press he's used to. Near the start of the movie Peter Parker notices his alter-ego on a jumbotron TV screen and is soon joined by a gaggle of cheering children. When the clip ends, the kids run off, not nearly interested enough to wait for it to start over. This is a perfect example of how Spider-Man's popularity has been treated in the comics for virtually his entire career - kids and the occasional falling construction worker might love him, but the powers-that-be (and the many people just opposed to vigilantism) are generally sour on Spider-Man no matter what he does.

2. Eddie Brock is too shallow a character to be interesting

Venom has seen some pretty dodgy writing over the years (i.e. "I want to eat your brains"), but as a general rule, villains are much more interesting when they have a little character development behind them. Lots of little hints about motivation were dropped, but we spent so little time with Edward Brock, Jr. that it was hard to see anything more than "I'm shallow paparazzi guy, hate me." Brock did not have to be a sympathetic antagonist, like the Sandman, but with a little more development we could have gotten a better idea of how he could hate Peter so much and see himself as the victim.

3. Unexplained psuedo-scientific super powers good, ridiculous coincidences bad.

Action movies almost always require a little suspension of belief, and comic book movies draw from that well often. That's fine. I'm more than willing to buy into a genetically-engineered spider bite causing super-strength, a completely unexplained physics experiment turning a man into living sand, and a malevolent alien goo bonding to a human host. But when the alien goo just happens to arrive on earth via a meteorite that just happens to land in New York City just 10 feet from the one-and-only Spider-Man, I call foul. There are plenty of perfectly reasonable ways for Pete to come into contact with the symbiote - maybe it was discovered and brought to the science lab at his college, or maybe it moved from person to person before finding Spider-Man and becoming attracted by his potential for violence. Whatever. The point is that the introduction of the symbiote seemed like a last-minute addition, "oops we forgot to mention where the thing came from, just have it land in his pocket." How does this violate the spirit of Spider-Man? One of the interesting things about Spidey is despite having several titles devoted to him, he is almost never shown as the center of the world. Super Man might have supporting characters like Jimmy Olsen and Lois Lane, but ultimately everything happens in his life and he always saves the world/universe. Spider-Man's supporting characters have always been more independently interesting than that, and very often he's just a bit player in stories (and world-devouring menaces) much bigger than himself. Pointless coincidences undermine that.

4. Harry Osborn needs to grow a pair

The rather abrupt flipping from enemy to amnesia-addled best friend to enemy and back to friend of Harry Osborn actually fits the treatment of his character in the comics fairly well. Green Goblins are constantly forgetting who they are and whether or not they hate Peter Parker due to bumps on the head, effects of the goblin serum, or even just continuity hiccups. When Peter asks Harry for his help saving MJ, though, the film goes down the wrong route. Instead of facing his conflicted feelings for MJ, Peter, and his father, struggling to face his father's influence, and deciding to act, his butler just tells him "your dad killed himself so forget all the emo crap and go fight the bad guys."

5. Spider-Man 3 should have been two movies

Like Batman before him, Spider-Man has caught a case of multiple-villain disease. The cause is pretty easy to understand - characters that have been in print for over 40 years build up a backlog of rouges and story arcs, while most movie franchises end at three or four films. It can be tempting to try to cram more in, but it's a mistake. The end result is that we don't have enough time to adequately explore Harry / Green Goblin, the Flint Marko / Sandman, or Eddie Brock / Venom. The fight sequences in Spider-Man three are all amazing, thrilling, a joy to watch, but with so many fights to get in they don't necessarily lead up to a climax. Here's how it should have worked: Spider-Man 3 - The first one starts on a high note, with Spider-Man getting a bit of positive press for the first time and MJ starring on Broadway. With Harry's memory gone, Pete even has his best friend back. But MJ is fired, Pete finds out that Marko is the real killer, and try as he might Spider-Man can't defeat the Sandman. To add insult to injury he loses a staff job to Brock. Despite his misgivings, Pete uses the strange black substance to augment his powers and take on Sandman. With the black costume, Spider-Man is able to seemingly kill Marko, a hollow victory since he has compromised his principles along the way. The movie ends with MJ breaking up with him and Harry regaining his memory and putting his plans back in motion. Spider-Man 4 - To start the second movie, Pete lashes out as his troubles by exposing Brock and humiliating (and striking) MJ. Shocked at himself, Pete tears off the suit, leading to creation of Venom. Pete returns to red and blue costume, apologizes to MJ. In the mean time, Brock goes through something similar to Pete in Spider-Man 1, discovering his powers, but he doesn't have the basic human decency and attitude about power and responsibility that Pete does. He goes after Spider-Man, and Pete can't seem to beat Venom. Venom lets him go, making it clear he's toying with Spidey and can attck again at any time. Harry continues to drive a wedge between Pete and MJ and makes sure Venom is mistaken by police for Spidey. Finally, Brock kidnaps MJ. Pete starts to figure out how to fight Venom and is just getting an edge over him when the Sandman appears. Harry has a crisis - he does care for MJ, is he just his father's puppet? He comes to realize that he should be his own person and flies in to help. Then everyone cries. The end. The advantage of breaking it into two parts is pretty clear - you can devote an arc to a single main villain in each movie, with large arcs for Pete, MJ, and Harry. In addition there's the change to end the first part on a low note, like Star Wars did in Empire Strikes Back or Lord of the Rings in The Two Towers. So enough complains. Coming soon: five things they got right in Spider-Man 3.

Perhaps you shouldn't go right now, since I'm writing this at midnight on a weekday, but go at your earliest convenience. Hot Fuzz is the latest film by Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright, the guys who made Shaun of the Dead. If you haven't yet seen Shaun of the Dead, go out and get it - it's one of the funniest, most clever movies I've seen in a long time. You may not have heard of Hot Fuzz, it doesn't seem to be getting much advertising and didn't open in a large number of theaters. If you've seen a review, you might have heard that it's a buddy cop action movie spoof. Really, it isn't a spoof so much as an homage wrapped up in a bunch of postmodern cleverness. It's also a damn good film in it's own right. Let me explain. The movie doesn't just mock and ape other cop movies, like lame "comedies" such as Epic Movie. It is much to well written for that. At the same time it's much more specific, recreating iconic scenes from Point Break and Bad Boys 2 shot-for-shot after after characters have described the scenes just a few minutes earlier. It works and it's amazing how they pull it off. It reminded me of The Days of Rice and Salt when Kim Stanley Robinson slowly revealed how his characters wrote their own story in a form that describes the book itself. Like Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz starts Pegg and Nick Frost. These guys play really well off each other and make a better "mismatched pair of cops who learn to rely on each other" than Lethal Weapon, Tango and Cash and Turner and Hootch combined. It's also one of the few movies where IMDB's Trivia and References pages are obviously not complete. Just go see the movie already!

For years, he has been ever with us. A familiar face in the grocery aisle, quick to ease our hunger. But he shall serve you rice no more, for Uncle Ben has been promoted to CEO (or perhaps chairman of the board) of Uncle Ben's Inc. Uncle Ben, instant rice pitchman, has long been seen as a holdover from less polite times. He clearly was not meant to be your actual uncle, or even that guy your dad knew from school that everyone made you call "uncle" as a creepy sign of pseudo-familiarity and respect. Since he was an older black man, dressed as either a manservant or perhaps maitre d’, and "uncle" was a disrespectful way to refer to blacks in the South, it seemed perhaps he was just another racist stereotype. Oh, they told us that he was a farmer known for the best rice in the region, but why the fancy duds? The use of stereotypes to market products has a long and interesting history in the U.S. The movie Ghost World has an interesting, fictionalized take on the matter. Some were obviously meanspirited, but others, like Uncle Ben and Aunt Jemima, have managed to change with the times and get by, partly because the stereotypes were no longer relevant. Kids today don't have a clue what a "mammy" character like Jemima is supposed to be, except for vague images from old Tom and Jerry cartoons, if they still play those. Is a black butler any more offensive than say, a British one? Well now we know for sure that Uncle Ben is not a racist stereotype, at least not anymore. With this promotion from servant to CEO, Mars, Inc. has finally revealed the truth: Ben was just in a very long, very abrupt career track within the company. Perhaps you and I are salivating over the step from associate analyst to analyst, but that is because we don't have the vision and patience of Ben. Sixty-odd years might seem like a long time for just one promotion, but it's not so bad when the promotion is from the lowest rung on the ladder to the highest, busting through any glass ceilings in the way. Ridiculous you say? It's not without precedent. When young Bruce Wayne's parents were murdered in front of him, the leadership of Wayne Enterprises was opened up. Later, because of his duties as Batman, Bruce could never devote the time required to run a large corporation. Much of his CEO responsibilities were in fact delegated to Alfred, his manservant. Of course Alfred was never officially named to the board, but you can see how that sort of thing could happen. Who was the last CEO of Uncle Ben's Inc.? Perhaps we should look into whether or not his parents were murdered in front of him, such that he was raised by Uncle Ben. Just like Batman, but black, and his crime-fighting gadgetry is probably rice-based. In any event, does this mark then end of all racism in the United States, or is it just a way to drum up some press for the same damn rice they've been selling for 60 years? Let me know what you think in the comments.

I really enjoyed this film, animated in a small child's learning book style by Run Wrake. Please watch it. I read that it won two awards from the British Animation Awards last year, Best short film and best film at the cutting edge. [youtube]A4Yf-7Z_6PE[/youtube]

I often wonder how movies get made, specifically: how does a studio decide to film one script and not another? I think about this a lot because so many bad movies get made each year that the decision-making process must involve coin-flipping or developmentally disabled children. The worst, perhaps, are the unfunny comedies. A crappy action movie might still have good explosions, and a boring drama will at least show the clerk at Blockbuster that you are a smart person with discerning tastes. But unfunny comedies have no redeeming value. Even unfunny movies, though, can strike comedy gold once in a while. Below are five funny moments in some very unfunny movies. 1. Freddy Got Fingered This is a great example of an unfunny movie, winning the 2002 Razzie Award for Worst Actor, Worst Director, Worst Picture, Worst Screen Couple, and Worst Screenplay. Tome Green had his moments on MTV, but got pretty tiresome pretty quickly. None of those moments made their way into Freddy Got Fingered, except one: [youtube]v1YIT-HINKg[/youtube] "Daddy would you like some sausages" is a classic. The way the sausages seem to dance, the light playing off their string-bound casings like the laughter of children on a summer day... brilliant! But the rest of the movie is almost unwatchable. I apologize for making some of my friends watch it a couple years ago. 2. The Tuxedo I'm a Jackie Chan fan, but his American movies are pretty hit or miss. He and Owen Wilson were great in Shanghai Noon, but the sequel for some reason fell flat. The Rush Hour movies have been entertaining, but then there's The Tuxedo. The premise: Jackie Chan is just a normal guy who accidentally gets a secret agent's super-powered tuxedo. Hijinks ensue. With a setup like that, and a gifted physical comedian like Chan, you can't lose, right? Apparently you can. The movie just doesn't take full advantage of Chan, the plot is ludicrous and uninteresting, and the jokes aren't funny. Expect for one. Jackie Chan and Jennifer Love Hewitt are trying to get into a fancy restaurant to spy on the bad guy or something boring like that.

Maitre'd: I'm sorry, you don't seem to be on the list. Jennifer Love Hewitt: Slip him some cash. Jackie Chan (trying to sound smooth): I believe you will find us listed under the name... Washington [hands the Maitre'd a single]. Maitre'd: [stares] Jackie Chan: Maybe it is listed under Lincoln... Washington... Washington... Me: [laughs for the first time in 45 minutes].

But after that, no more funny. Just to prove the point, this movie couldn't even wring a laugh from the violent death of James Brown: [youtube]rj4uMQU1tos[/youtube] 3. The Wild Wild West This is a terrible movie. What's worse, before the trailers came out, I had high hopes. I'm not a raving Will Smith fan, but I think he's underrated as an actor (see Six Degrees of Separation and Ali) because he always plays himself in action movies. He's a likable guy, so to tell you the truth I don't mind seeing Will Smith play himself in action movies. I also like the whole steampunk alternate-history concept. Now that I think about it, though, steampunk movies/cartoons/books are pretty much always disappointing. At any rate, Wild Wild West turned out to be pretty crappy. But there was one scene that was funny, mainly because it was so mean-spirited.

Evil Mastermind in Wheelchair: Mister West! How nice of you to join us tonight and add COLOR to these monochromatic proceedings! Will Smith: Well when a fella comes back from the dead, I find that an occasion to STAND UP and be counted! Evil Mastermind in Wheelchair: Miss East informs me that you were expectin' to see General McGrath here. Well, I knew him years ago, but I haven't seen him in a COON's age! Will Smith: Well, I can see where it'd be difficult for a man of your stature to keep in touch with even HALF the people you know. Evil Mastermind in Wheelchair: Well, perhaps the lovely Miss East will keep you from bein' a SLAVE to your disappointment! Will Smith: Well, you know beautiful women; they encourage you one minute, and CUT THE LEGS OUT from under you the next!

Don't believe me about the rest of the movie sucking? Watch below to see what Robert Conrad, star of the original television series, thought about the movie: [youtube]uKM5lo1oENI[/youtube] 4. Little Nicky Oh Adam Sandler. Your emotionally-stunted, speech-impeded man/boy characters were always so entertaining on Saturday Night Live. But they just don't translate well when stretched out to 90 minutes. Little Nicky is a classic case. Sandler plays the son of satan himself, and his brother is trying to turn the earth into his own hellish domain. Something like that... anyway, there's some sort of convoluted plot that doesn't matter. It's strange but not particularly funny, until Nicky's brother starts his huge demon-concert to steal people's souls (or something). The entertainment? Henry Winkler, covered in bees! [youtube]eLdjwGV5730[/youtube] 5. Scary Movie When Scream come out, it breathed new life into the horror genre by adding a sense of humor and self-awareness to a genuinely scary plot. Then about a thousand similar movies tried to ride its coattails. Then, the Wayans bothers tried to spoof it with Scary Movie. It is very hard to spoof a movie which is already a comedy. So it shouldn't be too surprising that Scary Movie was fairly flat. It wasn't actually that bad, but there were too few laughs per minute running time. Until the very, very end of the movie. I won't spoil it here, so no YouTube clip. You'll have to watch it yourself, the whole movie, so you can see the end. I guess you can skip ahead to the end but it will probably be less funny without context.