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Comics Economics Environment Health How To Humor Movies Politics Post Science The Internet TVKoheleth: The Source of All Wisdom
The words of the Preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem.This is harrowing language, obsessed with the dual and dueling impulses of life: to quest for knowledge and to succumb to death. One engenders the other, making this intertwining the very core of all meaning and creating the most fundamental paradox that lies at the hearts of all men: our greatest mandate while alive is to gain wisdom, but the more we accomplish this goal, the closer to annihiliation we arrive. I have ruminated on this passage many times and always find it illuminating. I want to return to an exegesis of Koheleth in the future, as this opening verse merely introduces a more sustained and particularized discussion of these initial concepts. But there is ultmately little I can say that will be of value, for all is vanity and the world neither remembers nor cares.Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanityWhat profit hath a man of all his labour which he taketh under the sun?One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh; but the earth abideth forever.The sun also ariseth, and the sun goeth down, and haseth to his place where he arose.The wind goeth to the south, and turneth about unto the north; it whirleth about continually, and the wind returneth again according to his circuits.All the rivers run into the sea; yet the sea is not full; unto the place from whence the rivers come, thither they return again.All things are full of labor; man cannot utter it: the eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor the ear filled with hearing.The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done; and there is no new thing under the sun.Is there any thing wherof it may be said, See, this is new? it hath been already of old time, which was before us.There is no rememberance of former things; neither shall there be any rememberance of things that are to come with those that shall come after.The Preacher was king over Israel in Jerusalem.And I gave my heart to seek and search out by wisdom concerning all things that are done under heaven: this sore travail hath God given to the sons of man to be exercised therewith.I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and, behold, all is vanity and vexation of spirit.That which is crooked cannont be made straight; and that which is wanting cannot be numbered.I communed with mine own heart, saying, Lo, I am come to great estate, and have gotten more wisdom than all they that have been before me in Jerusalem; yea, my heart had great experience of wisdom and knowledge.And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly; I perceived that this is also vexation of spirit.For in much wisdom is much grief; and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow.
The Real D Wallz
I know a lot of you out there have been reading and enjoying my posts. Some of you do not enjoy them as much. A few think I am a racist, homophobe neoconservative. Well you wrong. I’ve decided to reveal the true D Wallz, which is a side most people don’t see often. I’ll point you to my website, http://www.davidwaldman.org/. Bet you’re pretty surprised at what you see. First off yes I am that handsome, I’m not vain about it, but I did get a lot of ass in my day. You’re probably asking yourself, Dave what made you start on your journey for enlightenment and made you want to teach others; well it’s easiest if I start at the beginning…
Back in the summer of ’97 I was a free wheelin’ son of a gun. I’d go to all night raves, take tons of ecstasy, kedamine, heroin, drain-o, pretty much whatever people would give me. I’d be up for days dancing to trance, jungle, techno, the noise my modem made while connecting to AOL, whatever. I’d also sleep with just about anything that came my way, women, men, animals, vegetables, minerals, gases, it didn’t matter I was so high I didn’t care what happened to me. But that all changed one fateful night out in the Nevada desert. I took a combination of pixie sticks, Windex, WD-40 and Dunkeroos. I started tripping like never before and wandered out alone into the desert.
I don’t know exactly how long I wandered, could have been days, but it felt like an eternity. Eventually I ran into my dear departed grandfather, Mortimer “Stovepipe� Waldman. He told me I needed to change my ways otherwise I would doom my immortal soul to be eternally trapped in the cycle of reincarnation, and my parents would cut off my trust fund. He said I needed to find my spirit animal and ask it for guidance. I thanked him for his advice and gave him some of my remaining Dunkeroos and began to wander again.
Eventually I came upon a Giraffe in the lone wilderness. I asked him, “Giraffe I come seeking enlightenment can you help me?� To which he replied, “No you want the Lemur, I’m just here on vacation with relatives.� I thanked him for his help and returned to my quest. Eventually I did find the Lemur and asked him how to find the path to enlightenment. He said, “The path you seek is not difficult to find, here read these books, listen to these tapes and watch these videos and all shall be known to you, also do you have anymore Dunkeroos?�
I did just that and spent the next several weeks engrossed in the materials he had given me. Truly they did change my life and set me on a path of enlightenment. And now the can all be yours! For a low, low price! Just visit my online store and get the wisdom you need now! Act now and I’ll throw in a special limited edition Lemur key chain. That’s right never has the path to enlightenment been so easy and affordable. Also check back for updates on my seminars where I tell you how to get rich by buying all your food over the internet. Peace be with you.