More Spam Email Scams
I really am not sure what I did to get so lucky to constantly be getting money offers constantly thrown at me. I really don’t know. As you may have read previously I won the Spanish International Lottery (and if you haven’t you should click here and read it because what else do you really have to do right now anyway?), the British Lottery and received a Nigerian Inheritance. Well now somehow I got tied up in a weird business relationship with a very ambiguous Mr. John I. Brown and some other shady characters. These emails do kill me they are so funny. Here, check it out for yourself:
Our Ref: CBN/GO/0X012/08.
DEAR CONTRACTOR/BENEFICARY
AFTER A SERIOUS THOUGHT, I DECIDED TO REACH YOU DIRECTLY AND PERSONALLY BECAUSE I DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST YOU, BUT YOUR PARTNERS.
I AM THE DIRECTOR OF WIRE TRANSFER/TELEX DEPARTMENT AND SOME TIME IN THE PAST YOUR PARTNERS APPROACHED ME THROUGH A FRIEND OF MINE WHO WORKS WITH ONE OF THE MINISTRIES HERE AND REQUESTED THAT I ASSIST THEM CONCLUDE A MONEY TRANSFER DEAL AND WE ALL AGREED.
ACCORDING TO THEM, THEY WANTED TO USE THIS STRATEGY TOTRANSFER A HUGE AMOUNT OF US DOLLARS WHICH THEY ACCUMULATED THROUGH INFLATED CONTRACT AWARDS AND THE MONEY HAS BEEN FLOATING SINCE THEN AND THE ORIGINAL CONTRACTORS/BENEFICARY’S HAS BEEN FULLY PAID, SO THEY WANTED TO USE YOUR ACCOUNT TO TRANSFER THE SURPLUS OUT OF THE COUNTRY. WE AGREED THAT ONCE I DO THIS, THEY WOULD GIVE ME 20% OF THE FUND AND GIVE ME ANOTHER 15% WHEN I RELEASED THE FUND TO YOUR ACCOUNT. WHEN THEY SAW THAT I HAVE DONE THAT AND YOUR NAME HAS BEEN APPROVED AMONG THE LIST OF THOSE TO BE PAID, INSTEAD OF GIVING ME THE AGREED 35% THEY STARTED AVOIDING ME AND RESORTED TO THREATS.
I IMMEDIATELY DELETED THEIR NAME AMONG THE LIST OF THOSE TO BE PAID BECAUSE OF MY POSITION, AND RELEASE OTHER CONTRACTORS/BENEFICARY FUND WITHOUT YOURS.
THEY BECAME ANGRY THE MORE WHEN THEY SAW THAT THEIR PLAN DID NOT WORK, AND STARTED BRIBING OTHER OFFICIALS TO GET ANOTHER APPROVAL TO TRANSFER THE MONEY TO YOU WITHOUT SUCCESS. APPROVALS ARE FREE, IS IT NOT FUNNY THAT A CONTRACTOR/BENEFICARY IS BEING ASKED TO PAY FOR APPROVAL WHILE HIS FUND IS HERE WITH US? I AM 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DELAY AND OBSTRUCTIONS BECAUSE OF THEIR BREACH OF CONTRACT. IF YOU DOUBT WHAT I HAVE JUST TOLD YOU NOW, THEN PAY ANY AMOUNT THEY WILL ASK YOU TO PAY , AFTER A SHORT TIME THEY WILL COME UP WITH ANOTHER REASON TO PAY AGAIN AND IT GOES ON AND ON. NOW IF YOU WANT US TO WORK TOGETHER, THESE ARE MY CONDITIONS.
(I). I WILL HAVE 50% OF THE MONEY BECAUSE IT IS ONLY THE TWO OF US LEFT FOR NOW.
(II). YOU WILL ASSURE ME THAT YOU WILL NOT BETRAY ME AT LAST AND THAT MY OWN SHARE WILL BE SAFE UNTIL WHEN I ARRIVE IN YOUR COUNTRY FOR THE SHARING OF THE FUND.
(III) AS YOU HAVE SEEN, IT WILL BE USELESS AND MERE WASTE OF MONEY IF YOU CONTINUE WITH ANY OTHER PERSON AND WE WILL CONCLUDE THE TRANSACTION WITH UTMOST SECRECY AND CONFIDENTIALITIES IF YOU WISH TO ADHERE TO MY DIRECTIVES AND INSTRUCTIONS.
IF THESE CONDITIONS ARE ACCEPTABLE TO YOU, CONTACT ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE TO LET US FINALISE ALL THE ARRANGEMENT AND FINALIZE THIS DEAL IMMEDIATELY WITHOUT ANY FURTHER DELAY
BEST REGARDS.
MR.JOHN IBEH BROWN.
DIRECTOR, FOREIGH OPERATION DEPT.
Well, let’s talk about this one, shall we? A few points of interest for me: he cannot spell. If you use Firefox or another browser that underlines the misspelled words it will point out quite a few, Foreigh, finalise, beneficary. And who’s middle name is Ibeh? No one, that’s who. Well, i guess good old John Brown. Second, I think that typing everything in all caps got my attention that this was an official email 100% valid. And third, don’t you think I would remember getting into this type of contract? With these shady people? All of this secrecy and sneaking?
See, I really like this one. Makes me feel all bad conspiracy movie Cloak and Dagger type thrills. Ooh….the suspense. The drama. The intrigue. The lack of actual funds to make this a valid conspiracy movie. Oh well. I just want you to know that as silly as this sounds, people really fall for this crap. I used to work at a bank and we had this one old woman who fell for this stuff maybe once every other month. And she would try to convince us that this time it really was valid. There was just no getting through to her that these were scams.
Oh well. I guess it’s just a mild amount of entertainment for me in my inbox.
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