Mormons vs. Jehovah’s Witnesses - Fight!
They go door-to-door. They are affable and conspicuously pleasant to deal with. And they both want to save your soul. But in the end, there can be only one, so we ask: what happens when Mormons and Jehovah’s witnesses collide?
Okay, that was fun. Most of us turn off the lights and hide when either group comes knocking (that is, unless you have some yardwork for them to do). But what if both groups showed up at your door- who should you listen to and who should you direct to the curb?
The Case for Mormons
We’ve already covered the Mormons in some depth, so I won’t rehash, and you can always take a gander at Wikipedia. Instead, let’s take a lighter look at one of the items in the Mormon arsenal: Magic Underwear
To be fair, the pastor heaping a helping of criticism on Mormons probably believes things like resurrection and wooden sticks that turn into snakes. I’m not sure you’re standing on firm ground criticizing someone’s +1 Underwear of Hugs while holding Dungeons-and-Dragonsesque items in your own theological bag of holding. The clip is from and Australian show, John Safran vs God.
The Case for Jehovah’s Witnesses
If you read a little history, the Jehovah’s Witnesses might seem to be an underdog at this point. The movement was started in the 1870s by founder Charles Taze Russell and early on predicted Armageddon in 1914. Since you’re reading this on the Internet, you probably already know it didn’t quite turn out that way, but Russell had always said these were surmises and calculations and not prophesy. This plucky group held together through schisms and even imprisonment when their pacifist views put them at odds with the government during the Word Wars.
If you convert over to the Jehovah’s Witnesses, you might get to rub elbows with Prince. On the other hand, you’ll have to deny your children life-saving blood transfusions. Jehovah’s Witnesses might not have magic underwear, but as this clip shows, they can dance:
The Verdict
Weighing the options carefully, I would go with neither. That’s just me though. The Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses I’ve met have all been nice enough, and their beliefs aren’t that much goofier than born-again Christianity, so feel free to flip a coin or something.
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Ah, for me it’s gotta be Mormans. Their religion is soooo silly I can’t take it seriously but they are willing to do chores for me while they try to convince me that made up scripture read from a hat is for real so they can’t be that bad.
September 5th, 2007 at 7:47 am