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We've shown you the total awesomeness that are Japanese obstacle course competitions. And we've brought you the true power and spectacle of Hard Gay. So now head three minutes into the video below to see the Beyond-Ultra-Power-Awesomeness that happens when you combine the two. Bonus Awesomeness awaits when the British announcer points out that Hard Gay's competitor "takes one to the old happy sacks". [youtube]mn4-Y1n7DdM[/youtube]

What do we have against the metric system? Can anyone tell me why the good old US of A hates the metric system so much that it stands practically against the world in it's single minded "We're Number One" mantra? We stand alone with Myanmar (Burma) and Liberia. This doesn't bode well in the US's current stance in about any world wide political situation. I mean, when an argument could be won by almost any country by saying something school-ground childish around the lines of "well, we use the metric system, what do you use?" I think it becomes time to reconsider your standing point on the issue. Most people (except Americans, Liberians and Burmese) would agree that the metric system is much more useful and makes a lot more sense than a system that relies on body parts (length measurements such as feet and yards) and old fashioned carrying devices (peck, quart, pint). If you don't believe me that we stand alone in this war against reason, here is a pretty picture in which the red countries are the countries who do not use the metric system. Bottom line is, the metric system makes more sense, period.

If you have ever run a web site, you've been exposed to the addictive, number-crunching fun provided by web stats. Any web site that's worth it's pixels will have, at the very least, a freeware program like AWStats parsing through the server logs and putting together colorful charts and reports. Our host, Q5media, are kind enough to provide us with LiveStats by Deepmetrix. Web stats can be really useful for blogs. They can tell you all sorts of interesting things about your readership, for example, last month 55 people found the site while searching for Yakety Sax, no doubt landing on our article about how Yakety Sax makes anything funny. Other top searches included guys kissing, how youtube works, and once you go black. Hopefully everyone found what they were looking for. As you can see, the most important use of web stats is to find the strangest search phrases people use to get to your articles. The small sample above is actually at the top of our list, but on a more sedate blog you might have to dig a bit to get to the comedy. Looking further down I get gems such as "indian dicks" and "bees apocalypse." In addition, web stats provide you a way to start fights between your writers as they argue over who's getting more traffic and why. So it's a lot of fun. In order to get some really deep knowledge, you have to venture off into the world of web analytics. Analytics gives you more than just the list of top pages by visitor count. You are able to see where readers come from, how they make their way through the site, and how they exit. If you have advertising on your site, you can really get a sense of what works and what doesn't. Google Analytics is a completely free, and fairly useful, analytics package to try out. It works by placing a small JavaScript on your pages - in Wordpress, you could stick it in your footer. So what is this deep knowledge I speak of? Let me give you an example: a few days ago we had an article about the weight loss drug Alli. With Google Analytics, I now know that 9 of the people who read the article clicked on an ad, no doubt one selling Alli or a similar weight-loss product. Six people clicked on to an article about things every nursing student should have, which means at least a tiny percentage of our readers actually look to us for helpful information. But five people clicked on the the page for the tag "accidents." If you follow that link you'll notice that there's only one article there. The only thing I can think is that five of our readers were not interested in the helpful information aspect of the article as the "pooped myself" aspect. They picked up on the tag and thought it would lead them to more... accidents. What's worse, in the academic world, this trail they followed is called the "information scent."

You are far from any beaches, or the ocean for that matter. But the sun is out and you've got your surfboard waxed -- how can you get your surfing in? Head downtown, grab a friend and a few sticks of dynamite, and surf the river: [youtube]JR_naKxLEPc[/youtube] It looks like this is an ad for Quicksilver who sell surfing gear, so I have no idea if it's a real video they picked up or something staged. But I'm impressed. Dynamite isn't the only way to surf a river. If you've got some predictable rapids, you can surf the waves formed where the water flows over submerged ledges and rocks. [youtube]sB2e_-ZXb_k[/youtube] In the video above you can see Skookumchuck Rapids in British Columbia, Canada. The wave is due to the tide sweeping in from the sea, hitting a narrows and a bedrock ledge at just the right angle. Tides being what they are, the wave is only this good a few times a month. If you are in Brazil, you can surf the tidal bore on the Amazon River known as the pororoca. In the video below, you can see how one pororoca wave can keep surfers up for as much as a half hour. The main danger here is all the tree branches and debris from the river. [youtube]s6QLlaswADQ[/youtube] Of course, if you live too far from the beach, British Columbia, or Brazil, you can always gas up the boat and wake surf: [youtube]AOeN2Ohc2iQ[/youtube]

It has recently come to my attention that there is a new diet pill on the market that is FDA approved. This is big news for pharmaceuticals, who make the most money in OTC sales via diet/weight loss supplements. What will happen in the pharmaceutical war for market coverage with this new drug? What I am really excited about is not the fact that this expensive diet supplement will help obese people to manage their weight issues. No, it's not that they will be able to have a healthy lifestyle again where walking down the stairs isn't a four hour adventure. It's that these people are going to actually have to practice self control. Will it work? Alli, yes; self control, who can say? As side note, I heard a commercial on the radio the other day that started out making me think it was about Asthma but it was really for obesity. It said something along the lines of "Do you have a hard time walking to the mail box? Are you out of breath before you get there? Do you know how hard it can be to do any strenuous activities? Do you want your life back?" Now, don't you feel that this is a good lead into an asthma commercial? I did. But they they said, if you or a family member are obese and know this feeling, we invite you to try a clinical study with lasers and acupuncture. So, there you go. I really do hate it when obesity is called a disease. It is something you can control. Next thing you know people are going to be saying that laziness is a disease. And it must be cause that is why there are so many fat people. I agree that some people are probably fat because of genetics, but if you are like this, shouldn't it be more incentive to eat right and get exercise? I mean, if you know it runs in your family and you are afraid to become fat, then just do something about it. What really gets me about this commercial is that they make it sound like something else for dramatic affect, false advertising for obesity. Anyway, i digress. What the point of my story today was supposed to be was that Alli has the best dieting support plan ever. It's called "side effects". See, the whole point of Alli is that it's supposed to help you lose weight, not lose the weight for you. There are all sorts of publications on Alli now and most of them say it's a completely safe way to lose 10-20 pounds as long as you follow the directions. Please tell me which people actually follow directions on the bottle of any drug? Doctors tell you not to share prescriptions. People do. It says right on the bottle of aspirin to only take two every four to six hours, but I see people pop 10 of those little white pills at once. So, I have high hopes for Alli. Mind you, these high hopes are not because I think people will overdose on Alli. Not at all. Nope, I have hopes that people will not follow the diet and exercise program that the Alli diet plan "suggests" and that they will deal with the horrible side effects. I can't wait for those people who think "it won't happen to me" to just try to eat a yummy french fry or hamburger or piece of cake. Here is what the official website has to say about the side effects.

alliâ„¢ works by preventing the absorption of some of the fat you eat. The fat passes out of your body, so you may have bowel changes, known as treatment effects. You may get:

• gas with oily spotting
• loose stools
• more frequent stools that may be hard to control

Oh boy, I can't wait for uncontrollable stool! Just think of how much fun oily spotting could be. Continue reading for the alli people's description of what's to come!

What to expect

The excess fat that passes out of your body is not harmful. In fact, you may recognize it as something that looks like the oil on top of a pizza.

Oil from on top of the pizza I am not allowed to eat coming out of my butt and laying fresh in my underwear? Sweet.

You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work

CBS news tells us that it might possibly be the holy grail of dieting. I don't know if I would go that far, though. The holy grail of dieting would be a pill that made you look like a movie star without uncontrollable oily spotting and the occasional skid mark in dark pants. But, as long as people take this diet seriously and follow the diet plan as far as eating and exercise, they probably won't poop in their pants while riding the subway or waiting in line at the grocery. Maybe. In conclusion, Alli is a lot like Santa Claus. It knows if you've been cheating. It knows if you are bad or good, so be good for goodness sake. And the sake of all those around you who will definitely be able to smell if your bowels were uncontrollable again.