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To start off the big summer movie season I saw two of the most hyped movies, Spiderman 3 and 28 Weeks Later. Both of these were supposed to be action-packed movies with a thrill a minute. Needless to say I was not impressed by either.
First Spiderman 3... when exactly did they decide that the needed to make Spiderman more Emo in this movie? Were they doing market research and said "hey lots of kids today are whiny bitches let's make Spiderman more like that so people relate more to him." The main problem with the movie is that there were too many villains and no plot line. We get the the New Goblin, Sandman and Venom and yet the stories for all of them are beyond lame, and none of them are really bad guys they're just misunderstood. Heck Sandman even killed Spiderman's Uncle and he still forgives him, lame. The special effects were cool but they weren't enough to make of for all the cheesy lame scenes.
The film opens with Mary Jane singing some lame song on Broadway, oh boy cuz all those comic book fanboys love musicals, yuck. When Peter Parker does he little Saturday Night Fever strut down the street you know the movie is totally garbage and the only reason it was made is because the studio execs knew it would make money. Of course a lot of people will say oh it wasn't that bad, really? These are the same annoying people who complained that X-Men 3 was the worst movie ever and that they hated it. Was X-Men 3 worse than Spiderman 3, no of course not they're both part 3 did you really expect them to be that good? Spiderman 3 is horrible don't see it, buy it or rent it. Watch the 70's Spiderman show its much better than this crap.
Secondly, 28 Weeks Later. So all of the infected people in England have died and the American Army moves in to clean everything up and they start bringing people back. Of course everything goes wrong in a predictably retarded way. The main characters kids come back to see him and they run off from the safe zone back to their old house to get a picture of their mother because a) its apparently easy to sneak out of a heavily guarded military compound especially if you are a teenager and b) plagued landscape be damned they need a photo (or they can't wait a little longer until the zone is cleaned to get it because obviously it isn't that far if they can get there by scooter.
So they get to the house and find their mom who they thought was dead is their and she's infected but she's not showing symptoms because of a rare mutation, blah, blah, blah. They take here back to th military base where the one doctor wants to study her to find a cure because they need a cure for a disease that they eradicated or something. The general just wants to kill her because if shes dead they wont need to find a cure because the disease will be gone, duh. So while she's quarantined her dumb husband sneaks in, because obviously the last infected person on the island wouldn't have guards or cameras watching her no, and makes out with her. Then he gets infected and kills her and escapes. He kills a bunch of other soldiers who apparently can't kill someone running at them with their guns because, yeah. Then they lock up all the civilians in a room to protect them, of course their is a back door to the room, because why wouldn't you put them in a room with an unguarded door, it makes perfect sense. Then evil dad breaks in and infects everybody and all hell breaks loose.
Other crap happens that whatever, and eventually the kids whose mother was infected and whose dad started all the trouble escape with a soldier. He has some change of heart and decides along with the doctor that these kids need to be saved to find a cure. Even though the army just fire bombed the city and killed most of the people that needed to be saved but whatever. Long story short all the people die except for the dumb kids who get a way on a helicopter and the one kid, the boy is infected but hes immune like his mother. Of course the last scene is stupid because we see the helicopter in ruins and infected running across Paris. So not only did they not find a cure but they have now infected mainland Europe, congratulations.
My speculation is the boy made out with his sister and she got infected and started killing everybody, but we can save that for the DVD extras. Overall the movie was totally pointless and had so many stupid logic flaws it was just dumb. Its better than the first movie but the first movie sucked so who cares. At least they didn't say that these people were zombies like in the first movie, when their just "infected". All of George Romero's Dead movies had a point and lots of social commentary. These movies are trying to do that but fail miserably and just end up being a lot of people running around and puking blood, oh boy. Rent Night of the Living Dead or Dawn of the Dead (the original) and do yourself a favor if you want to see a real Zombie movie.
Well so far the summer movies have sucked, big surprise so I'm sure the upcoming ones will suck as well, but people will see them cuz what else is there to do.
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Rumor asking for Guillermo del Toro in Spiderman 4. That would be excellent
May 14th, 2007 at 4:44 pm
Who is this seanbaby? whatever. And, I feel that you are way too harsh on 28 weeks later. For those of you reading this who care, Dwallz and I went to this movie together. I rather liked it (albeit there were flaws, but the movie was overall enjoyable) but our critic booed the film as we left the theater. This makes me mad in the first place, b/c no one who matters can hear you booing their film. It just embarasses me. The movie was in no way that bad. Not at all. Bad enough to be booed? Dwallz has forced me to watch worse films than this on more than one occasion and as worse had given worse movies to me as gifts (revenge maybe? who can tell)
All I am saying is that this movie was not as bad as you are making it out to be. I mean, if you want to see some bad films, just go to watch pretty much anything else out in the theaters right now. You are bitching and moaning b/c two movies you wanted to be good didn’t live up to your expectations (I have no idea what does live up to your theatrical expectations, btw) but there are much worse films you didn’t pay to see nor would you. So, life is not so bad, and all in all, we saw this movie as a matinée, so you are only out $6. If you want your money back, just come and get it from me. I’ll also throw in a kick in the face, free of charge.
Oh, and as a side comment, if you really think about it, the ending of 28 weeks later is very probable in that situation, mostly because people are idiots. So be happy that the film makers recognize that fact and place it in the movie. No sugar coating for us, plain and simple people are idiots and they will ruin as many lives as possible if they can just be happy and not sacrifice their own.
May 14th, 2007 at 6:14 pm
Guillermo Del Toro is currently on my shitlist for Pan’s Labyrinth which was totally promoted wrong. There were like no magical elements only like 3 minutes and the rest of the movie was just depressing. It was hella lame so if he directs SPiderman 4 it’ll suck.
I paid my 6.75 so I am entitled to boo the movie if I so wish to .Its my form of public protest. I also booed The Village because it was a horrible movie and Id do it again.
You might not have liked every movie I have given you but at least they were free so you cant complain about that. If I made you pay $8 to watch the TOxic Avenger (which is a cinematic classic) then you could complain.
May 14th, 2007 at 6:28 pm
I haven’t seen 28 Weeks Later, but I have to disagree with some of your points on Spider-Man 3. I thought the Saturday Night Fever strut was one of the best parts of the movie–at the very least, it shows that the writers, director and Tobey Maguire really understand the character of Peter Parker. Instead of playing it like he was suddenly a badass, you saw a nerd who was too full of himself. I think the whole Emo thing is along those same lines. A lot of reviewers thought it was some kind of grab for marketshare among the MySpace and My Chemical Romance crowd, but where do you think emo kids come from? They are created when nerds get dumped.
I thought the Sandman’s story was pretty interesting, though I agree that there were too many characters in the movie and that the characterization suffered as a result. I think it would have been a lot lamer if he was all Doctor Evil or some shit, robbing banks because he hates all things good and nice. The story followed the spirit of how the Sandman has been shown in the comics – at times on either side of the law, more of a regular guy stuck in a bizarre situation than a mustache-twirling villain.
May 14th, 2007 at 11:37 pm