Who wants a new body?

According to an upcoming National Geographic show, we are getting close to being able to do a human head transplant. And I for one couldn't be more excited. Lately my body and I haven't been getting along and I think it's time we took a break and started seeing other people. I'm sick of it having to poop all the time and it's tired of me masturbating all the time. So being bodiless again I suppose I need to start looking for one. I don't know, I kind of like not having a body. I can get so much done without having to constantly eat, go to the bathroom or jerk off (not necessarily in that order). And my body's happy too, it can just sleep all day which is what it wants to do anyways. It is difficult to find a new body. I mean sure, it may look good at first, but then you get attached to it and realize there are all sorts of things wrong with it that you couldn't see before. And getting separated is such a pain, all that time and money and having to divide your stuff up. Those lawyers always make sure that the bodies get everything too how fair is that? Just because I'm a head doesn't mean I don't need a house. I can still sit on the couch and watch TV. Plus I'm not getting any younger so it's not like I can go out and find a hot young body like I used to. Well I guess I'm stuck with my body for now. I'm sure we can work it out, I mean it hasn't been all that bad we've had some good times. So the next time you and your body are fighting and are thinking about separating, just take a moment and think about what your doing. If not for yourself then at least for the sake of the kids.

  1. If you had enough money you could actually build yourself a new body. Check this out: http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/15.01/betterbody.html

    Although if you’re mostly tired of pooping and masturbating all the time, you could do this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_reassignment_surgery_male-to-female. You’d cut down on the pooping and wanking, PLUS gain a set of your very own tits!

    January 16th, 2007 at 4:22 pm
  2. I like masturbating and using the restroom. I mean, I don’t like to have to go and the gross stuff it entails but when you really had to go and then you do, the feeling you have afterwards is quite nice. And, masturbating? Can you ever really do it too much?
    As far as a new body goes, what if it rejects you like the zombie body rejected Carl’s head in ATHF? It could be serious. You need to get yourself a bionic body.

    S. H. Skuld
    January 16th, 2007 at 10:22 pm

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