It’s tume once again for ask a stupid question, where I post a stupid question on Yahoo! Answers and see how many idiots I can get to actually answer it. This weeks question was, If you could taste with your feet, what would you want the floors of your house to be made of? Below are the top five dumbest answers along with my insightful commentary.
Hmmm… It’s a hard choice on how to spend your after Christmas/Hanukkah money. I hope these informational videos will help.
This is a commercial for the Wii. Nobody wants to play with the fat chick. But she is wearing layers (more…)
So, you finally got that shiny new iPod for Christmas. How will you fill it up?
After ripping your CD collection (I recommend CDex), you’ll want some new music. Don’t have any cash left but want some new tunes? Don’t worry - there are plenty of good ways to download MP3s for free without getting a nasty letter from the RIAA.
Below are ten of my favorite ways to get free MP3s legally on the web:
1) Salon.com’s Audiofile. It helps to be a Salon member, but you can usually get a day pass by watching a commercial. Audiofile is a music blog that writes a little about each tune and usually includes a direct download or a link to where you can download a track. The music selection is pretty eclectic, and I find that even if I don’t recognize any of the bands being covered I can usually catch a reference or comparison to something I have heard before. If you have to time, go through the archives and just download everything and toss what you don’t like later.
The new Pope Benedict XVI seems to bear more than a passing resemblance to Emperor Palpatine from the Star Wars movies, in fact some suggest he might even be Emperor Palpatine, and this is just his latest scheme for galactic domination. I have decided to examine the subject more closely and have complied the following reasons why the new pope might actually be a Sith lord.
…and then there was no one left to speak up for me. Pity the poor citizens of New York City. Their most basic human rights have been stripped away. The freedom to choose has been stripped from them by a big brother who says he knows what’s best. Adam Smith, George Washington, and Milton Friedman are spinning in their graves, and the Statue of Liberty sheds a single, rusty tear as she gazes across the at a once free people.
No, I’m not talking about illegal domestic wire tapping, or the denial of the First Amendment via remote “free speech zones.” We all know that those are required to combat terrorism, and triffling privileges like those are a small cost for combating terrorism. I am talking about a much more important freedom: the right to choose to eat foods made with partially hydrogenated vegetable oils, rich with trans fats.
“Dear god, say it isn’t so!” you shout. “What will they ban next?” Probably baseball and apple pie. But while I would join you in protesting and future attacks on baseball and apple pie, I am afraid I cannot join in your outrage over the trans fat ban, for three reasons:
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By the time Christmas is over, you’re going to have some gift cards to spend and some returns to make. Forget buying books or CDs with your Borders gift card (dude, CDs are so 2005) - instead, stock up on some television show boxed sets. Instead of shoveling the driveway or doing whatever people do in the winter in places where it doesn’t snow, stay inside and rot your brain AGAIN with these hours upon hours of television goodness. All commercial-free!
The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes
This is hands-down the best Holmes series out there. Jeremy Brett (as Holmes) basically turned himself into a raving lunatic to bring us the most true-to-story Sherlock possible, and the writers of this first series worked hard to keep true to Doyle’s works as well. Fans of House and CSI will appreciate the original “so clever it hurts” character after which Greg House and Gil Grissom are often cited as being modeled after. Brett is a sexy bastard as well.
There’s other Granada Television (of Great Britian) Holmes series starring Brett, such as The Return of Sherlock Holmes and The Casebook of Sherlock Holmes, which are also good but Adventures is the place to start. The original 13 episodes, included in this set, had the best scripts and Brett was still at the top of his game. As the later series came about, the quality of Holmes stories left from which to choose became a stumbling block for the writers. Brett also started losing his mind a bit and his health got worse. By the time The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes was shot (the final series), Brett was literally having to be propped up in order to appear in the shows.
But this first series is can’t-miss. Sets are amazingly accurate, Brett and David Burke/Edward Hardwicke as Watson give spot-on performances and the scripts couldn’t be more accurate. Investing in this series will definitely up your geek cred by letting you discuss Holmes with your bookstorecoffeeshop buddies as if you’ve actually read the books.
Since many of our troops are committed to the War in Iraq, we find ourselves once again facing an even more dangerous situation here at home. That’s right, the War on Christmas.
Because the politically correct mainstream media refuses to cover this silent scourge, it’s a little-known fact that the War on Christmas now accounts for more deaths in the United States than any other single cause except for diseases and misfortunes. Every time the clerk at the Seven-Eleven says “happy holidays” instead of “merry Christmas,” it is a terrorist attack akin to flying a building into a plane, except this happens 1000 times every day.
So what can you do to survive this trying ordeal (and maybe kick some butt back)? Here are five tips for surviving the War on Christmas:
Yahoo has started a new feature on its website called Yahoo! Answers. On it people can ask any sort of question they like and have it answered by other people on the web. Now if your like me your probably thinking why would I want to ask people on the web they’re all a bunch of furry loving idiot losers who are only answering questions in between looking at whatever disgusting subfetish furry site they happen to be masturbating to at the time, and you’d be right. So I took it upon myself to ask these morons a stupid question and then post their answers on this site so that they can be publicly mocked. For my first question I picked a topic that I’m sure has been on a lot of people’s mind for a while, Are all Unicorns gay or just some? Here is the original thread and below I posted the stupidest answers with my own evaluations of them.
Many, many Americans have been wondering - how can we win the War in Iraq? Up until recently, the President was not one of them. He knew exactly what needed to be done. But times have changed. The President is officially in listening mode.
I’m always on the lookout for ways to make my house more energy-efficient. I’m also always buying things online and having them shipped to my house. This leads to a problem - a bevy of boxes, and a plethora of packing peanuts.
Boxes can be broken down, folded up, and recycled. What to do about the packing peanuts? Could I kill two birds with one stone, and use them as fill to insulate my attic?
What do you do When you find out you are wrong?
Not just wrong about one thing, or a little bit wrong. What do you do when you find out you are very wrong, and consistently wrong, and there are really big consequences?
President Bush, after three years, seems to finally realize he has been wrong. Well, not really. But he has finally acknowledged the big consequences part. Part of the problem has been that he has only gotten advice from those willing to tell him what he wants to hear. So the formation of the Iraq Study Group was a good thing, right? Finally, some independent experts would weight in, and tell the President some things he wouldn’t like to hear.
Except they weren’t really experts. And their advice has little to do with Iraq. And Bush isn’t really listening anyway.
So how do we win the war in Iraq? Maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t hurt to ask the real experts - the military people actually in Iraq. In fact, one of our troops has given us a PowerPoint presentation. That’s right, it’s even in the preferred format of upper management everywhere. Seriously, go there right now and watch the presentation, it’s only 18 slides.
Nintendo has announced that they are offering a recall of 3.2 Million wrist straps for the Nintendo Wii controller. Apparently people are getting so worked up playing the Nintendo Wii that the controller straps aren’t durable enough to resist the force and the controller ends up being hurled at the TV.
UPDATE: It has come to my attention that this video is indeed a fake. Apparently Pauly Shore is so desperate for attention he faked this fight to get people to pay attention to him. The fact that I fell into his trap of publicizing him sickens me. I think the only fair punishment for this hoax would be for Pauly to be put to death by being dissolved in acid. Now I know this seems harsh but if we don’t take a stand now Pauly shore will continue to terrorize the country with his unfunny schtick. I’m not doing this for me, think of the children and how happy they will be to be in a Pauly shore free world.
This has got to be the best video I have ever seen on the internet period. It features none other than the Weezel himself, Pauly Shore, getting knocked the fuck out in a club in Texas. You might be asking yourself, now what did Pauly do to deserve this? Obviously you have never seen Encino Man, Son in Law, Bio-Dome, Jury Duty, etc.
Why does someone as seemingly devoid of humor as Pauly Shore have a career in showbiz? …Oh that’s right, his mother owned the Comedy Store and basically got him into it. And she also gave him millions of dollars to mooch on because I’m sure Pauly isn’t still living of that Bio-Dome money. Finally Karma has reared its fist and given Pauly exactly whats his had coming his whole life. The best part of the fight is notice how the Cop only comes to get the guy after he knocks out Pauly, obviously he wasn’t in a big hurry to save the Weezel’s ass. Also the crowd is laughing and cheering after Pauly gets hit, probably more laughs than he’s ever got in his career. Now if only Rob Schneider would go to Texas the world would be at peace. So without further ado enjoy!
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The video game industry covers a wide range of genres, but some of the most popular games allow players to engage in serious simulated violence. At the same time, your local evening news broadcast is filled with reports on violence in schools and gang violence.
But are video games (and rap music, and Elvis Presley, and Jazz, and, uhh… flappers?) really to blame for violence among our youths? Culture warrior Bill O’Reilly thinks so, as he told Oprah recently. He has a whole book on this and many other subjects which he ties together under the umbrella of the “Culture War” - basically, traditionalists defending America versus secular-progressives who want drastic changes through undemocratic means.
