The Hoeffecation of America

I am writing this expose about a disturbing trend in today’s modern society, namely the Hoeffecation of America. This phenomenon has been steadily gaining in popularity in recent years and shows no signs of slowing down. It is difficult to pinpoint the exact moment that this trend began, but most attribute its emergence to one event in the late nineties. Britney Spears’ first video “Hit Me Baby One More Time�, was the catalyst for the so called Hoe movement. Dressed in a risqué school girl outfit and shaking her coochie for the faculty of the school, Britney showed that by being a total hoe you could become rich and famous. Quickly many young girls jumped on this train and never looked back on actually trying to develop a personality. Today the hoeffecation of America is so prevalent it is impossible to go to any public places or events and not be surrounded by hoes. Hoes today consist of women of every age and race. Elementary school girls now wear belly shirts and hip huggers to school, in order to fit in and not to be ridiculed for not being enough of a hoe. Just go to any major retail store and look at the fashions for girls today. Shirts with sayings like Sexy and Hoochie Mama are the norm. You might ask yourself who is buying these young girls these clothes? The answer, their Hoe Mommas. In order to compete with their younger daughter and still be considered sexy and valuable to society, older women are hoeing it up more than ever. They are easily spotted by their fake orange tans, extremely bleached hair, too much makeup, too tight clothing over their sagging skin and hip huggers revealing C-section scars and stretch marks. The majority of women today look like hoes. Why is it that so many women today feel the need to be a hoe? One possibility is the lack of any positive role models in popular culture. Almost all popular female celebrities in movies, music and TV are hoes. Take for instance Christina Aguilera. She has gone from complete total skank hoe to just sort of a hoe. People have congratulated her for cleaning up her act. A hoe is still a hoe people; the degree of hoeiness is merely subjective. Another example is Nelly Furtado. She started out as a smart, creative and original musician who was popular for her unique songs. Flash forward a few years and one slow selling album later, she has been reinvented as Nelly Furtadhoe. Timbaland has seen fit to remove her of all her uniqueness and has her singing a generic club song about fucking. Unless women are celebrities who guys just want to fuck or groupies who just want to fuck celebrities, they have no place is popular culture. The main force behind the increased Hoeffecation of America is money. Corporations make money by selling clothes, cosmetics and other products to women who feel they need them in order to be considered valuable to society. Sexuality is just another commodity and is now totally separate from a person’s feelings and personality. I am not trying to say that a woman looking sexy is a bad thing, but when the only thing that she cares about is looking sexy and picking up “hotties�, a woman becomes a hoe. Stay tuned for further reports on the Hoeffecation of America. As well as the Doucheffecation of America. Please reply with any comments on the article, unless you are a hoe in which case you are too busy eating a dick to reply.

  1. Dude, you totally took this idea wholesale from the South Park episode where Mr. Slave shoved Paris Hilton entirely up his butt.

    Actually, this whole thing reminds me of the passage in the recent LA Times profile of Joe Francis, the Girls Gone Wild guy:

    “Francis has aimed his cameras at a generation whose notions of privacy and sexuality are different from any other. Nursed on MySpace profiles and reality television, many young people today are comfortable with being perpetually photographed and having those images posted on the Internet for anyone to see. The boundaries that once contained sexuality have also fallen away. Whether it’s 13-year-olds watching a Britney Spears video, 16-year-olds getting their pubic hair waxed to emulate porn stars or 17-year-olds viewing videos of celebrities performing the most intimate acts, youth culture is soaked in sexuality.”

    Am I now an old fogey at 27, or is this just an entertainment perspective on the world? True, girls at high schools today dress much sluttier than back in the day. But are they really giving it up more, or is it just fashion? Because, after all, your statement: “Corporations make money by selling clothes, cosmetics and other products to women who feel they need them in order to be considered valuable to society.” really applies to any time period of at least the 20th and 21st centuries.

    Either way, I blame the Puritans.

    August 25th, 2006 at 7:33 am
  2. Well you are an old fogey at 27, but that is besides the point. Its not weather or not they are having sex its the fact that all the care about is their physical appearances. Looking sexy is the most important thing nevermind having a brain. Girls today are being conditioned to be mindless hoes.

    D WallZ
    August 25th, 2006 at 2:15 pm
  3. 70% of actual prositutes in the USA are Bleached Brunettes. Britney Spears is also a Bleached Brunette as are Christina Aguilera, Paris Hilton, Pamela Anderson, and every so-called ‘Blonde’ you have ever seen on TV or on the street. 95% of Caucasian women are Brunettes and only 2% of Caucasian women are Blondes. 40% of the Brunettes have bleached themselves and assumed the name Blonde. These women rely on the blinding bleach-light to attract attention and then to keep the attention they have to do something and since they usually lack talent or brains that means they have to pull their pants down. Get rid of the Bleached Brunettes and you get rid of most of the whores.

    Carol E. Cox
    March 21st, 2007 at 3:45 pm

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