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Sonata For Sale, A few years ago some crazy religious fanatics crashed planes into buildings. Purchase Sonata online, The authorities were quick to step in and step up security in airports. Unluckily for us the authorities at the time happened to lead by this guy:
So what we've gotten is a big mess of silly little rules and a mass of power-happy security screeners who can ruin your vacation with the flimsiest pretext, online buy Sonata without a prescription. Sonata price, It's not all bad, the shoe removal part makes us all a bit more humble and security theater makes most people feel safer, Sonata no prescription. But now it's time to celebrate the stupidest reasons to ban people from planes, Sonata For Sale. Where can i cheapest Sonata online, 
#1 - 3.2 Ounces of Toothpaste. This one has probably gotten a few of us in trouble, ever since government scientists discovered the formula: "> 3oz, order Sonata from mexican pharmacy. Order Sonata online c.o.d, toothpaste = bomb lol". It even happened to everyone's favorite geek Wil Wheaton in 2006, Sonata natural. Effects of Sonata,
...my deadly, deadly toothpaste was taken away from me, is Sonata addictive, Sonata steet value, because it was "way bigger" than the three ounces our government protectors arbitrarily-designated as safe. Sonata For Sale, (For those of you scoring at home, "way bigger" is .2 ounces) I didn't mention that my relatively expensive (to its size) Crew hair goop was also taken away from me, because it was 3.4 ounces, even when I opened it up and showed them that it was less than 1/2 full, and therefore well under the deadly 3 ounce threshold."Well, where can i order Sonata without prescription, No prescription Sonata online, we don't know what's really in there," the TSA lady said, Sonata gel, ointment, cream, pill, spray, continuous-release, extended-release. Cheap Sonata, "It's about1 ounce of hair goop," I said, Sonata use. Sonata interactions, "Would you like me to put it in my hair?"
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#2 - A MacBook Air. I knew that Steve Jobs was up to something evil when he pulled that laptop out of the manila folder. Michael Nygard made the mistake of owning one when he tried to get on a flight, Sonata samples. Sonata no prescription, It completely baffled the airport security personnel because it looked slightly different from the usual Dells. They finally called in a technology expert (someone under the age of fifty) to examine it, Sonata images.Sonata For Sale, A younger agent, joins the crew. Sonata canada, mexico, india, I must now be occupying ten, perhaps twenty, effects of Sonata, Purchase Sonata for sale, percent of the security force. At this checkpoint anyway, Sonata used for. Purchase Sonata, There are three score more at the other five checkpoints. The new arrival looks at the printouts from x-ray, where can i buy cheapest Sonata online, Sonata alternatives, looks at my laptop sitting small and alone. He tells the others that it is a real laptop, not a "device", Sonata For Sale. That it has a solid-state drive instead of a hard disc, Sonata for sale. Online buying Sonata hcl, They don't know what he means. He tries again, ordering Sonata online, Sonata australia, uk, us, usa, "Instead of a spinning disc, it keeps everything in flash memory." Still no good. "Like the memory card in a digital camera." He points to the x-ray, "Here. That's what it uses instead of a hard drive."
Sonata For Sale, #3 - Your Own Breast Milk. Fighting terrorism isn't a conventional war - we have to fight terrorists at home and abroad and keep them from infiltrating our society. And our mammary glands. That's why in 2002 airport security forced Elizabeth McGarry to drink her own breast milk before letting her on the plane.
McGarry and her daughter were pulled out of the boarding line for a random search. Guards examined her shoes, searched her baby and went through her diaper bag, Kuby said.
"None of that bothered her," Kuby said, Sonata For Sale. "Only when she was ordered to drink the breast milk did she fail to see the connection to stopping terrorism."
#4 - A Novell with Cartoon Dynamite on the Cover and/or Harry Potter. Neil Godfrey should have known better than to try to sneak a work of fiction past the keen eyes of airport security. They detained him from his flight. When tried to fly the next day (this time with the evil Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban) he was again detained.
When Godfrey arrived at the airport around 1:15 p.m., his luggage was again searched. Sonata For Sale, But as Godfrey passed through the metal detector, a police officer recognized him from the commotion just a few hours earlier. The cop pulled Godfrey aside and made a few phone calls. Ultimately, he declared that everything checked out fine. But a National Guardsman standing nearby vetoed that decision."This time, they took my Harry Potter book and about four people studied it for 20 minutes," Godfrey says.
#5 - A Blinky LED Pin. This is not the first run in that Boston has had with "bomb hoax devices" that turn out to be more accurately described as "obviously not a bomb you moron." Last year an MIT student attempted to leave Logan airport while wearing a homemade LED pin in the shape of a star (her name is Star Simpson, so it's kind of a nametag). I'm guessing that the TSA has really had their hands full since Walgreens has started selling those blinky angel and teddy bear pins near the checkout, Sonata For Sale.
"She said that it was a piece of art and she wanted to stand out on career day," Pare said at a news conference.
#6 - A T-Shirt with Optimus Prime on it. Here's a little shout out to Europe, since the U.S. has not yet cornered the market on stupidity. I'm not making this one up - this dude got in trouble for wearing a T-shirt with a 50-foot-tall fictional robot that turns into a semi truck. Why. Because his fictional, cartoon arm is a fictional, cartoon laser gun.
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What people don’t get is that it’s not about air line security. This is about terrorizing the travelers. People have to be constantly reminded how the “terra-ists” ruined our lives.
June 1st, 2008 at 9:16 am
ter·ror·ist Audio Help /?t?r?r?st/ Pronunciation Key – Show Spelled Pronunciation[ter-er-ist] Pronunciation Key – Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun 1. a person, usually a member of a group, who uses or advocates terrorism.
2. a person who terrorizes or frightens others.
–adjective 5. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of terrorism or terrorists: terrorist tactics.
So… what organisation or group has been using fear to control or influance masses of people lately?
June 3rd, 2008 at 3:55 pm
on my way to bulgaria traveling from a london airport, the security wouldn’t allow me through with my watch on, a Tokidoki “i love LA” watch, as it had symbols of guns on the watch face, and little plastic/metal half bullets on the side of the strap. there went my plan of hijacking witha time piece!
June 9th, 2008 at 5:45 pm
I wonder who t.f. ‘in charge’ thinks that 1984 will happen just because they relabel everything like the book.
Stupid mother f**kers.
If this is a sign of the intelligince of the real enemy, I’d say we really don’t have much to fear unless they somehow get to be in charge… of… the… worl….
oh crap.
June 14th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
We all know TSA is screwed, so watch what you do. That’s it. I fly about twice a week and have been for years, and I’ve never had trouble. Pack everything onto your checked luggage and avoid a carry-on if you can. That’s it, it’s not rocket science.
June 15th, 2008 at 6:20 am
This article is not only badly written, but also dull.
I think there is either a spelling or grammar mistake in at least one in three sentences. Which would be no problem if the article was either interesting or amusing.
I’d prefer to piss down my mothers left ventricle than read this again
June 15th, 2008 at 11:52 am
I suggest we go the opposite direction with air security. It should be as follows:
Yes, you can bring a gun. There are only a few simple things you must understand.
1 – You must inform us that you are packing.
2 – You must inform us of the amount of ammo you have.
3 – Do not chamber any rounds. If you decide to chamber a round all the people in the seats next to you will also chamber their rounds. Their guns will be quickly pointed at you.
4 – Don’t do anything stupid or suspicious. Everyone else on the plane will take you down quickly.
Of course there are loads of inherent issues with this idea. However, who in their right mind would mess with an airplane full of people with guns?
Just an idea.
June 18th, 2008 at 10:46 pm
These are the same idiots who IGNORED the warning of the 9-11 attacks to begin with. If they had put all this energy into stopping the SAUDI ARABIAN terrorist, none of this would have happened. Would it, Bush, you f***ing retard!
June 21st, 2008 at 11:26 pm
This whole security thing is a waste of money not to mention that I see at least one First Amendment violation up there (the books, I read the full article).
To avoid all that snooping I’d just take the bus, it’s cheaper and I’ve never heard anything about screenings at Greyhound stations.
June 26th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I liked to take a minute
Just sit right there
I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air
In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin’ out maxin’ relaxin’ all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Startin making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
She said ‘You’re movin’ with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air’
I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suite case and send me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my walkman on and said, ‘I might as well kick it’.
First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.
But wait I hear there’re prissy, wine all that
Is Bel-Air the type of place they send this cool cat?
I don’t think sow
I’ll see when I get there
I hope they’re prepared for the prince of Bel-Air
Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain’t trying to get arrested
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightening, disappeared
I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say this cab is rare
But I thought ‘Now forget it’ – ‘Yo homes to Bel Air’
I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie ‘Yo homes smell ya later’
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air
June 27th, 2008 at 1:02 am
God damn it.
Bel aired.
June 28th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
Not one thing the idiots at TSA and Homeland security would even slightly inconvenienced any real terrorist.
I could easily demonstrate how to take over any airliner with items that are not only permitted buy would be almost impossible to detect if they were not.
For that matter, two or three terrorists could take over the plane using nothing but a few rudimentary martial arts skills. Yes, I could teach you to do it in about 20 minutes. Unless you were as stupid as the TSA people, then it would be impossible.
July 1st, 2008 at 5:22 pm
I must agree with Clifford, that is a spectacular idea. Every one bring there own guns and we protect ourselves. Then, TSA wouldn’t be needed, there would no longer be the need for security. Hey! then, we could actually get to our planes on time! Imagine that! But no, if we all carried guns, then the government couldn’t control us anymore…. So that will never happen.
July 2nd, 2008 at 8:11 pm
Yay, USA rules the world. Beat the terrorism, beat the comunism, how? Use fashism…
I hate stupid Americans (well, generaly I hate stupid people) and your idiocracy. How can you alow to be pushed around by your ‘leaders’. As if they were built to be followed.
And now you have to terrorize my country, your soldiers can come to my country, kill someone, no questions asked… We signed a pact, to a country that makes a mother drink her own milk for its own amusment.
Want to stop terrorism? Destroy the top, civil war, those that hurt you and the world deserve to die…
July 9th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
[...] Now it’s time to celebrate the stupidest reasons to ban people from planes. [...]
July 11th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
Of course it isn’t about security, it’s to make people think they’re practicing security. They aren’t. Our borders are wide open and our govt. likes it that way. The probably could have prevented 9/11 but GW wanted to use it as an excuse for his war which has nothing at all to do with 9/11. American are some of the stupidest, naive and under educated people in the entire world and that IS counting third world countries. Come to think of it, before too long we will be a third world country.
August 18th, 2008 at 12:41 pm